Is online dating starting to seem like a job or worse a chore that you’ve been putting off for weeks? Dreading logging in to see a list of horrendous train wrecks that Match.com deems perfect matches for you? Quit your bitching and read the following suggestions for putting the fun back in your online dating process.
Quit Being So Goddamn Serious
If you’re not using every outgoing online dating email as an opportunity to highlight your sense of humor, you’re missing the boat. While I work with my clients at My Online Dating Consultant to improve their efficiency and get better results from their investment of time in their online dating process in a very strategic/business like style, you have to have fun with this nutty medium as well.
Write something completely absurd that will help you stand out. If she has a picture of herself on a horse in her profile, tell her that you’re glad she’s an equestrian because you are ½ horse on your dad’s side. Tell her it was awkward for you as a kid at snack time when no one wanted to trade their snack packs for hay but it built character. The more ridiculous the better and the more likely it is your email will stand out…which is what it’s really all about.
Note that this article does not give you license to make sexually inappropriate comments. Remember, she doesn’t know you yet and those will be interpreted as creepy 100% of the time. Count on it.
Revise Your Expectations – Relax Dude
Don’t perceive every interaction you have on an online dating site as a potential next wife, girlfriend or hook-up. Just relax and allow your connection to unfold naturally.
View each opportunity to connect with an attractive woman as just that. Don’t overthink it or overplay it. Push yourself to always have fun with the experience and if something great comes from it…all the better. If the woman you end up on a date isn’t a match, you’ve connected with an attractive woman who might make a new business connection for you, recommend a new bar/restaurant (where you can take someone else), or even become a friend that will give you an insider endorsement to her other hottie friends (a can’t miss scenario should you be afforded such an opportunity).
I guarantee the more relaxed you are and the more genuinely free flowing you are, the more you’ll enjoy online dating and the better you will come off in your presentation of self.
Make Fun of Her
Sending off generic emails or telling her how beautiful her eyes are will get you nowhere. She gets a thousand emails like that every day and you’ll get deleted so quickly from her inbox that you’re picture won’t even load before you hit her trash bin.
Instead, try a little playful ribbing at something she wrote or a picture that she posted. The key word here is “playful” not “biting” or “angry/demeaning”. Some gentle ribbing will help you differentiate yourself from the pack of fawning, desperate men. It will also allow you to test her sense of humor and ability to dish it right back (assuming you like them spunky).
Be gentle boys.
Actively Make Online Dating Fun For You – Sip A Scotch and Enjoy It
Make that hour or so that you dedicate to doing your online dating search fun for yourself. Crack a beer or pour yourself a scotch and laugh your way through the process. I know it’s a simple concept but the mindset with which you approach online dating and dating in general directly impacts how successful you are with it. If I could share one piece of advice about dating or even relationship advice it would be to own who you are and actively make dating enjoyable.
Dating can be a series of false starts, hiccups and challenging situations. Use the journey as an opportunity to learn about yourself and step you closer to the person you want to be with.