terrible game show

Come on Down! The Best (Worst) Game Show Answers of All Time

Despite my being a well read 21st century man who has no need for television, I do find myself missing it from time to time. Now it’s not the cliched stories, or the overblown acting of your nightly drama tale. I’m also not interested in the myriad reality shows, or talent searches. No, what I miss is the game show. It’s that quintessential American past time of watching people being put on the proverbial spot. Ticking clocks, rapid fire answers, and the pressure of the crowd. It all makes for a glorious show.

Now of course it isn’t all that excitement for the contestant that gets me riled up for a good game show. It’s the unscripted aspect of the responses from the contestants of the show which makes it a great. Just look at this video, there must be

Three Ewok Moon T-Shirt – Nerd Approved

If you thought the “Three Wolf Moon” t-shirt was awesome, you’re going to shit your pants when you see the “Three Ewok Moon” t-shirt.  Oh wait, …

Liquid Bacon – Bacon Soda by Jones Soda Company

Jones-Soda-Bacon-Soda-Gift-PackWe all know the health benefits of eating bacon with every meal or at least eating it at breakfast as proven by the graph in our Bacon-Wrapped Chicken recipe post.  Unfortunately we don’t always have the time to prepare this magical food; that is until now.  Our favorite soda makers, Jones Soda Company, have come up with the perfect solution for all your bacon needs with the Bacon Soda.  You don’t have to worry about spending hours butchering pigs, taking out the bacon and then cooking it.  All of this has been done and presented in a liquid form to eliminate the time wasted on chewing this heavenly meat.

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Smart Fortwo Eball – It’s Actually Car Pong

I’m a huge video gamer and not much of a gearhead, so when I found a video of two Smart Fortwos playing a made up game called Eball, I found it pretty damn hilarious when I realized it’s just real life car pong. The idea behind the publicity stunt is awesome: build a giant motion sensitive set of tracks, grab a couple of small cars, erect a giant screen, and let any idiot hop in and smash back and forth trying to control a video game. The reasoning, however, is hilariously stupid, and you don’t need to know cars to see that- obviously, car pong is going to teach you about how AWESOME the electric car is at accelerating. Really, watching tipsy Germans gun clown cars back and forth over a ten foot span is obviously proving how blindingly fast they can go. Yes, the video makes this look as simultaneously stupid and fun as this sounds. Watch after the jump.

bitch slap movie

Bitch Slap – Exploitation Film at its Most Confusing

woman grabbing another woman's breastsWhen we saw the trailer for this…. masterpiece, we wondered, “how the hell did we miss this movie?” Bitch Slap came out in 2009, was shown on only 3 screens, and faded relatively quickly into obscurity; this may have something to do with why it never made our radar. We stumbled across this bizarre-yet-sexy grindhouse style flick when looking for scantily clad women online important bacon documents online. Usually exploitation movies are set in glorious bygone decades, but this movie is very much up to date, and manages to work a number of modern locales and references (please note that this still doesn’t improve nor clarify the movie in any way.) I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a good movie, but it’s hilariously great-bad in its own right. The plot vaguely rotates around diamonds in the desert and Kevin Sorbo and sex nuns and the circus and razor yo-yos and a lot of random sword fights and the world ending. If nothing else, put it on mute and enjoy the comically hot protagonists gratuitously digging holes, scissoring, splashing in the water, feeling each other up, and running through explosions in various states of undress. Video clips and image gallery after the jump.