Entertainment

I decided to post Primeday after I realized that I should share my pain with the world, like an angst filled teenager uploading  poorly scribbled drawings on Deviantart.

As you prepare to watch this, you’re probably asking yourself “What could possibly be wrong with a video that makes fun of Rebecca Black?” and at first glance I would have agreed with you. What happens very quickly, though, is that

When it comes to men’s fashion, I’m not too picky; if you’re not decked out in Ed Hardy douchebaggery and your clothing generally fits and is clean, I won’t overtly complain. That being said, when I saw the Thom Browne 2012 men’s lineup, it reached through my monitor and punched me square in the junk. I scrolled through the images, picturing a horrific orgy where Herman Munster and Rorschach tag team Tank Girl and Pris from Blade Runner. Outside of the terrifyingly mangled offspring they’ve obviously produced here, I mourn the desecration of a cool cadre of characters. If you’re feeling up to it, browse the Thom Browne 2012 men’s catwalk for your favorite…fashions/lumpy spiky monstrosities.

Ah, monkeys… one of my absolute favorite topics. You see, for years now I’ve wanted a monkey friend of my own to kick back with me and play video games, or accompany me at the local gentleman’s club where we’ll drink expensive scotch and “smoke” bubble pipes in our dapper smoking jackets. Yes, that would be the life… except that some people tell me this that the monkey would be little more than a slave! The nerve… nay, I would never want a monkey slave; what I want is a monkey friend. There’s a big difference between the two, and it seems that the owners of Kayabuki Restaurant in Utsunomiya, Japan kind of missed that.

As you’re about to see for yourself, the owners have “employed” two monkey waiters. They’re not the first one’s to do so, but to the best of my knowledge they are the first to dress their monkey waiters as humans with horrible, awful, dreadful