Total Recall, Starring Colin Farrell? Oh, For Fucks Sake

As anyone who knows me would attest, Total Recall is my absolute favorite movie of all time. I would explain why, but if you’ve seen the film, you would immediately understand. If you haven’t, well… you’re missing out. Unfortunately, us Total Recall fans now have a bit of a problem. Apparently someone decided it would be a good idea to re-make Total Recall, and starring Colin Farrell no less. Sadly, I don’t have a pukey face emoticon to post here, so you’ll have to use your imagination.

Both a promo image (seen above) and the synopsis were released, but I’m not going to share the synopsis with you. Hint:  it’s exactly the same as the original Total Recall. 

Now, I realize how unfair it is to judge a film solely on a single picture, but I do have legitimate concerns – namely that the movie stars Colin Farrell. There’s also the fact that these security guards, or soldiers, or whatever the hell they are, look like they’re wearing paint-ball armor that’s been painted white. Obviously the original Total Recall was super serious and high budget, so this just won’t do!

The Total Recall re-make arrives August 3rd in theaters everywhere. May Vishnu have mercy on our souls.

(The Synopsis for Sony’s New Total Recall)

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Chad

I'm a co-founder and writer here at Unfinished Man. I write, manage the look and feel of the website, and make sure that nothing breaks. I also reply to the vast majority of our emails, so if you're sending one through, I suggest you be nice. Everyone says I'm the least offensive of our writers, so they gave the email jockey task to me. When I'm not improving the site, I write about fashion, video games, politics, and anything related to science and technology.

3 comments on “Total Recall, Starring Colin Farrell? Oh, For Fucks Sake”

  1. Stop trying to sell yourself on the pipe dream…the first “Total Recall” sucked ass and I blame the director Paul Verhoeven. The story was awesome, Schwarzenegger is always great, and I’m a die-hard PKD fan, but the director destroyed that movie with his over-lit soap-opera style of direction. This should be a dark, disturbing noir-type film, more “Blade Runner” and less “Days of our Lives”. Let’s just hope this new director doesn’t fuck this one up too.

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