Unfinished Man
  • Autos
    • Bikes
    • Boats
    • Cars
  • Entertainment
    • Books
    • Gaming
    • Humor
    • Movies & TV
    • Music
    • Technology
  • Fine Living
    • Food & Drink
    • Gadgets & Gear
    • Home Decor
    • Travel
  • Life Advice
    • Health & Fitness
    • Power & Money
    • Family
  • Men’s Style
    • Fashion
    • Grooming
    • Watches
  • Relationships
bad rub me genie lamp costume
8

The Classiest Halloween Costumes – Men’s Edition

When I started writing this article, I intended to create a list of the crappiest men’s Halloween costumes that I could find, and that really wasn’t very difficult; the internet is full of them. You need look no further than HalloweenExpress to find a slew of costumes featuring men with sad mustaches licking lolly pops, and people called Gabba Gabba… Lance… rock – whatever that even means.

Instead of boring you with more of the same, I’ve decided to show you a collection of the “classiest” costumes the internet has to offer. All of these are men’s costumes, but many of them feature women, farm animals, and other assorted accessories that are probably better left to the imagination of furries and 4chan readers.

Ohhhh Halloween

Starting at the top… I realized early on that most of the models showing off these costumes sport douche-bag names, such as Chad or Brad. I can’t quite make out the caption of the petting zoo, but I think it says something like “Llama spits”. What man wants to imply that his penis is like a llama? Llamas are such angry smelly creatures.

bad vampire halloween costume

This woman is… down for the count, GET IT??? One man getting sucked off by a midget while a very erect camp leader watches satisfied. Editor’s note: The Count is based on one of our very own writers; can you guess who?

bad rub me genie lamp costume

I’m not sure what’s worse, a frat boy requesting people rub his “lamp”, or a man banging a sheep while wearing shoes he stole from the set of Romper Stomper.

bad fireman costume

Looks like the Sperm Bank is running low… he must have used the jizz from his compadre’s “fire hose” to create his authentic Guido hairstyle. Fill ‘er up!

bad ring toss costume

I’ve looked at this dozens of times and I still can’t quite figure out what’s wrong with the woman’s legs and arms. I think the ring toss guy agrees with me as well – he seems to be getting a bit limp there.

Originally published on May 8, 2016 in Humor
mm

Chad

I'm a co-founder and writer here at Unfinished Man. I write, manage the look and feel of the website, and make sure that nothing breaks. I also reply to the vast majority of our emails, so if you're sending one through, I suggest you be nice. Everyone says I'm the least offensive of our writers, so they gave the email jockey task to me. When I'm not improving the site, I write about fashion, video games, politics, and anything related to science and technology.

Read these next:

  • craigslist bed frame Humor

    Weird Craigslist Bed Frame Ads With a Few Extras For Laughs

  • costco dog crates Humor

    Craigslist Dog Crates and Other Pet Supplies You Probably Shouldn’t Buy

  • craigslist tv ads Humor

    Best Craigslist TV Advertisement Fails

8 Comments

  • J. Anthony Carter says: October 8, 2011 at 10:51 am

    You’ve GOT to be shitting me!! To call these “The Classiest Halloween Costumes

    Reply
    • mm
      Chad says: October 8, 2011 at 4:14 pm

      Hey J,

      Thanks for taking the time to read my article and reply. I do have a question, though. Do you genuinely believe that I wrote this post in a serious and non-sarcastic manner? Do you truly believe that I actually find these costumes “classy”? Is it not possible that perhaps I’m merely highlighting how absolutely absurd many of the costumes on the market are?

      Something to think about.

      Reply
    • mm
      michael says: October 8, 2011 at 4:56 pm

      You’re partially right, this IS a blog and is opinion based. If you want stories/news with no opinions, maybe you should visit the good folks at FOX News, I hear they’re great 😉

      Reply
    • Gina says: October 9, 2011 at 5:05 am

      Anthony, I think you are the best troll ever; clearly you wrote this comment to paint the view of your opinions as something to be wished for and agreed with. A lot of thought went into this rebuttal and I’m certainly amused by it; I bet you think we’re too stupid to appreciate the subtle nuances of your humour, but I’m here to tell you at least one of us got it, ok?
      Sincerely,
      a completely slanted contributor,
      “Gina”

      Reply
  • funny facebook says: October 9, 2011 at 12:29 am

    LOL, greatest stuff for halloween.

    Reply
  • Andrew says: October 6, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    The best Halloween costume that I can think of is dressing like the inside of a closet, that way all other costumes are gay! or a skeleton, making Halloween fun again!

    Reply
    • Gina says: October 7, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      Skeleton costumes are great, and you’re the worst.

      Reply
  • Ace says: October 12, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    Great & funny article. My wife got a real kick out of it too! How you all find this stuff is incredible.

    Reply
  • Leave a reply Cancel reply

    • Popular
    • Comments
    • Anneta Eve bathing suit

      Anneta Eve – Where Has She Gone?

    • playstation 5 consoles

      Where Can I Buy a PS5?

    • woman doing kettlebell workout

      What is Delta-8 THC And How Does It Affect Your Workout?

    • 5 Unique Ways To Boost Your Finances in 2021

    • 3 Tips to Making Your First Date Unforgettable

    • Home
    • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Advertise
    • CCPA
    • Terms of Use
    • DMCA
    • Privacy Policy
    • Become a Guest Blogger

    © 2020 Unfinished Man. All rights reserved.