The Best Drinking Accessories: Ice Luges

If you’ve never been drunk enough to spend a few hours contemplating how to build a magical machine that will cool and deliver booze directly to your mouth, you should probably keep trying.

Ice Luge for alcohol in the shape of a naked woman
Yeah, you're going to have put your lips on that.

If you have, you probably know that despite the ridiculous amount of gears, pulleys, small animals and freeze rays you’ve worked into your design, it just isn’t going to work.

Luckily for your crushed spirit of whimsy, these fantastical devices do exist, and they’re called Ice Luges. You see them in movies and on TV, or maybe you’ve even been to a wedding where rum rains down upon you like the blessings bestowed upon that awesome couple for springing for an open bar. However, if you really want to have a party at home, you have to pay someone to carve you one of these magnificent alcohol delivery systems out of ice into a swan or a race car or maybe even a giant bust of yourself; this is expensive, and drastically effects the amount of booze you can buy to actually use on the damn thing. Unfinished Man figures that every guy should be able to fling ice cold liquids into his friends’ faces whenever he so pleases, so we’ve found a few reusable Luges you can make at home, whenever the need strikes you.

Small ice luge for alcohol with two tracks
Freezes with two tracks for shot racing

The standard Ice Luge is just about the same size as your freezer, and once solidified, is flipped upside down in its mold to create the tilted luge hill. This is a pretty simple design, and handles the issue of melting water by effectively catching it in the plastic basin. I don’t really know why I mention cleanliness aspects as your friends will be taking face loads of booze, splashing and spluttering everywhere, and that’s provided whomever is pouring is mentally sound enough to actually get it into the tracks in the first place.

Guy pours drink in ice luge for hot girl
*Bro not included.

The Light Up Party Cyclone is pretty freakin’ awesome, and we’re relatively certain that it won’t cause you to instantly morph into a douchebag either, despite photographic evidence. This Luge is meant to be a party centerpiece,  with two mouth spouts, tubing so you can configure the track however you please, and a wicked light panel that fits under the entire thing that can make seven different solid colours or strobe your guests into unconsciousness.

Ice Luge for alcohol shaped like a four leaf clover
Drinking from a four leaf clover makes you puke rainbows.

There’s actually a company entirely dedicated to easy to make, small custom Ice Luges in all sorts of shapes; Lugez makes milestone birthday numbers, shooting stars, a clover, and a pierced heart (which drinking fixes, incidentally.) If centering every foreseeable mildly special day in the future around heavy drinking couched in harmless cartoon shapes is wrong, I never want to be right.

Modular ice molds to make an Ice Luge
Important Instructions: DON'T Play with Chainsaws. DON'T Hug Bears. DO Arm Your Bears with Chainsaws, then get a Bear Piggyback.

Quirky has a number of great products, but I really love the idea of these modular Stacking Luge Cubes. Outside of the hilarious visual instruction guide included, I think their summary of the product covers all the major concerns posed to a thoughtful young man about to buy his first Ice Luge:

– Durable ice luge molding system lets you customize your own ice luge design.

– Carefully-crafted tubular luge design allows the drinker to watch the liquor as it travels through the ice (read: easier to imbibe when intoxicated).

– Compact cube trays are split into two halves to save storage room in your freezer.

– Removable, reusable drinking spout allows you to give it a quick clean between drinks. Mom may not be proud of your drinking habits, but she’ll be happy to know you aren’t spreading H1N1 around your frat house.

Your set comes equipped with an all-photo assembly instruction booklet — no reading required!

This item is still in the pre-order stage,  and is just about to tip over into production. Get in on the ground floor and be one of the first to snag this cool set. If you don’t know how Quirky works, check it out here.

Ice Luge for alcohol that looks like boobs
The ice queen every man lusts after.

And finally, The Boob Luge.  I feel no need to type anything to mar the perfect beauty of this combination of all the best things in a man’s life.



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Author, Designer, and "that girl your mother warned you about." Looking good seems to be my job, whether it's working with the site design, or a number of other more interesting capacities. I have a ridiculous sense of humour and a brutal sense of honesty- you'll see a lot of that coming through in my writing, so don't say I didn't warn you if I somehow manage to offend you AND hurt your feelings at the same time. On the plus side, it makes my dating and advice columns a lot more pertinent to an unfinished man in the real world.

1 thought on “The Best Drinking Accessories: Ice Luges”

  1. WOW! what an ice luge very cheap anyone could have!! But you have have to empty your home freezer to make this and it takes 3 to 4 days to make it sometimes it takes a week depends on how cold your freezer are also designs are very limited and it doesn’t come out clear that makes it last in an hour only. Not like those clear sculpture/luges they last longer and they could customized it too depends on your budget and hassle free so i think I’m still going for those classic ice sculptures/ luges they usually available now everywhere ask this ice luge company they’ll forward you to their ice luge distributor locally..


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