Did you know that martial strife can have a negative impact on both your mental and physical health? If you’ve found yourself struggling with headaches, high blood pressure, or elevated stress, then tensions in your marriage may be to blame.
In order to repair your relationship, you may need a road map to help guide you out of relationship conflict and help you to resolve conflict. If so, we have five vital tips to help you and your loved one address your marital issues. Keep reading to find out how!
1. Take a Time Out
When in the midst of marital conflict and arguments, tensions can escalate quickly. Especially when you’re feeling emotional, this can lead to bigger disagreements and conflict.
Instead, take a break to give both you and your spouse a chance to calm down. But be sure you don’t use this as a way to avoid having a hard conversation. Set a time when you can plan on coming back together, calmer and in a better mindset, to resolve conflict.
2. Really Listen
A lot of relationship conflict can be avoided by being intentional about listening to your spouse and feeling heard. It may be helpful to set a timer to help with this. Your partner can share for five minutes, then switch.
Be sure that you really listen, though. Don’t have a running dialogue in the back of your mind of rebuttals and retorts.
However, there are times when listening may reveal something that you may not want to hear or know. If you suspect your spouse may be unfaithful, check out this blog post on physical signs your wife is cheating.
3. Avoid Accusations
When you’re having marital problems, one of the quickest ways to set someone on the defensive is to use the “you” pronoun. For example, “You said…” or “you did….”
Instead, turn the sentence into a “me” statement. Instead of saying, “You said…”, try “I heard….” Instead of “you did…”, say “I felt….”
Avoiding accusations and attacking your partner can help de-escalate tensions and arguments and allow for true and helpful conversations to take place. They’ll feel more willing to meet you in the middle as well.
4. Stay Away From Hyperbole
Marital issues can feel overwhelming and all-consuming. We can be quick to jump to conclusions about their character instead of looking at the incident in question.
So keep away from starting statements with the words “always” or “never.” It’s a quick way to antagonize and anger someone and put them on the defensive.
5. Be Willing to Admit Your Flaws
It goes without saying, but nobody is perfect. Blame is also not always one-sided. When you hear accusations of wrongdoing about your own action, be willing to examine them for any truth they may contain.
If so, it’s always helpful to be the first to own your mistakes and offer an apology. This can help reduce tension and help work towards a resolution more quickly.
Commit to Resolving Marital Strife
When you’re married conflict and disagreements are inevitable. They’re not a sign that something is wrong in your relationship, but that you’re each individuals with your own baggage. Committing to resolve conflict in a mature and healthy way can help you have a better relationship.
Marital strife doesn’t mean the end of your marriage! Instead, focus on seeing the situation from your partner’s point of view. And check out more of our posts to help strengthen your relationship!