Ah, monkeys… one of my absolute favorite topics. You see, for years now I’ve wanted a monkey friend of my own to kick back with me and play video games, or accompany me at the local gentleman’s club where we’ll drink expensive scotch and “smoke” bubble pipes in our dapper smoking jackets. Yes, that would be the life… except that some people tell me this that the monkey would be little more than a slave! The nerve… nay, I would never want a monkey slave; what I want is a monkey friend. There’s a big difference between the two, and it seems that the owners of Kayabuki Restaurant in Utsunomiya, Japan kind of missed that.
As you’re about to see for yourself, the owners have “employed” two monkey waiters. They’re not the first one’s to do so, but to the best of my knowledge they are the first to dress their monkey waiters as humans with horrible, awful, dreadful masks and wigs. As far as I’m concerned, this is truly the stuff of nightmares.
Fukuchan – A Monkey, or the Stuff of Nightmmares?
I’m loathe to call this humor, but when you see something this messed up, what else can you do but laugh? I hope you slept well last night, because you’re probably never going to fall asleep again. Fukuchan the monkey can see straight into your soul!
Now, I constantly joke about having a monkey friend, but this… this is really kind of sad. I think it’s great that organizations like Helping Hands provide trained helper monkeys to disabled people in the United States, as the monkeys clearly live excellent lives, but using monkey waiters just seems like flat out exploitation to me. Humans usually don’t even enjoy waiting on people, so why would a monkey? At least humans don’t have to wear hideous masks while they’re waiting on people.
Good night my terrifying non-human primate friend. I hope you escape the clutches of Kayabuki Restaurant and find your way here to Canada, where you can live with me and we’ll be the best of friends. Unlimited bananas (I’m allergic to them anyway), and a great many trees to climb around on. Even better, is that I’ll never make you wear a mask… not even silly animal clothes! I have faith in you Fukuchan.