Throw Shitty Advice Out the Door

We have all heard our share of shitty advice. The people who offer it to us obviously mean well and are trying to help, but they are canning out some shitty advice, which are suggestions you should never follow.

When you get this advice, how does one respond? Provide eye contact, nod your head, and just say thank you. Then, you can laugh (when the person is not nearby).

Save yourself from injury, embarrassment, pain, etc. when you get told crappy advice. Just stay calm, hear the person out, and then move on. Just use these shitty tips for laughing material only. Don’t follow this type of advice.

Here are some examples of shitty advice?

  • When life gives you lemons, throw them at someone.
  • Keep calm and eat more pies.
  • To get anything done, just give up.
  • Night is for sleeping, and day is for resting.
  • Go naked. Nobody’s watching.
  • Use the metal part of the seat belt to open beer while driving.
  • Tired of ironing your shirts? Then get fat and watch the creases vanish.
  • Use your jackets hood as a bowl for snacks.
  • If you see a bear and don’t have time to run away, hug it. Bears cannot scratch their stomachs.

Here is some funny, shitty advice scenarios.

“My husband grew hot peppers in our garden one year. Wanting to dry them out, we asked our Amish friend what to do. She suggested we use the microwave to quicken the process. So, we took her suggestion and nuked the peppers. Within seconds, sickening fumes filled the kitchen, driving us out of the house, coughing and gagging. Only later did we stop to wonder why we took the advice to use the microwave from someone who doesn’t use electric appliances.” —Andrea Petrokonis, New Providence, Pennsylvania

This is one piece of advice that actually provides some value.

“Follow your passion.” This advice sounded great, but it assumed I had some predisposed passion that I was born with. I didn’t. So instead, I spent years searching for my passion, wasting valuable time and money. I didn’t find it, and it left me with heartache. Later on, I realized that passion isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you develop. I wish I had been given the advice to “develop your passion.” That would have been a life changer. —James Huntington Seattle, Washington on

Don’t always listen to shitty advice and don’t be gullible. Remember, just laugh.




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It's a little lonely being one of the two female writers here, but I do my best! You'll find me covering everything from relationships to the newest gadget I'm excited about.

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