Your wedding day and honeymoon can be some of the happiest days of your life. But after that incredible high, post wedding blues can quickly set in and when the highs are high, the lows will be low.
In a 2005 study published in the Journal of Family Issues, Laura Stafford and Allison M. Scott interviewed 28 newly married women and discovered that half of the participants had experienced depressive symptoms. They found that the ‘Blue Brides’ had focused too much on themselves during wedding planning and saw their wedding as a kind of uncertain ending. When you’ve aced your wedding goals, where do you go next?
Marriage expert Mary Cauchi says that ‘it’s very stressful planning a wedding, everyone wants it done their way and it can cause arguments between the bride and groom, resentments can build and after the wedding and honeymoon is when the arguments can start.’ As with any major life change, the realities of married life may not be as glamorous as you expected them to be. Doubts and anxieties can quickly pile up and small things like a lack of breakfast in bed or the impractical realities of a shared bath can get to you.
Marriage is big change. You’ve got living expenses to consider and the housing market isn’t the most welcoming place for young couples. It’s important to remember that accidents can happen and the prospect of raising a child in today’s uncertain economy may also add an extra layer of stress to your lives. For your own piece of mind, it’s always worth considering long term contraception options to avoid any unplanned pregnancies that can be a financial burden and lead to more stress rather than happiness. Things like the implant which can last for up to three years, the IUD coil which can prevent pregnancy for between 5 to 10 years or the pill. It never hurts to keep an emergency supply of morning after pills in the bathroom cabinet either. These days it can be ordered without prescription from the high street stores and online pharmacies including Click Pharmacy.
Stafford and Scott found that happier brides saw their weddings as new beginnings and shared the focus of the wedding planning with their spouses. Remember that while the wedding itself is important, it’s not the be all and end all of the marriage, try to shift focus from the wedding and work on maintaining the marriage as a whole. Marriage counseling is a good way to work on reframing marriage as an ongoing journey, rather than a one off event.
It’s important to remember that you’re not in this alone. If you’re feeling the post wedding blues it’s always good to talk things through with your spouse. Post Wedding Depression is a thing and the struggle is real. When it comes to depression, communication, caring and understanding are key. Post wedding blues are pretty common so your spouse is likely to understand and may even share some of the same anxieties that you’re feeling.
Remember that your mental health is just as important as your relationship. When it comes to depression it’s always worth consulting your GP for help. Remember that with care and attention these feelings will pass. Take things one day at a time and you’ll settle into married bliss before you know it.