Relationships can be tricky. It requires a great balance between attention and freedom. Think of it like a houseplant – too little attention and it will wilt into nothing. Too much smothering on the other hand can also drown the plant into an early grave. Finding the right balance is key – and this balance varies with each relationship.
The Intimacy Factor
For a lot of men, relationships always have an unseen barrier that lean towards one of these issues and away from another. Some men spend relationships paying attention too much, to the point of smothering. Others ignore their partners to the point that they lose contact altogether. These problems all stem from intimacy issues, as well as insecurities from the past. One must resolve these issues in order to have a fulfilling relationship.
Intimacy issues make it difficult for men to open up with their partners. To help resolve these issues, you must find out the source of the conflict. ReGain has a fantastic article talking about potential causes and effects of these intimacy issues. By knowing the cause of the problem, you too can solve your issues and have a fruitful and open relationship.
The Machismo Factor
Lots of men grow up with a few ground rules in mind – and they all revolve around machismo. Machismo or ‘manliness’ has been around for generations, to the point where it became the ‘normal’ thing to do. Your father did it, so perhaps you should do it too. An example would be never to show any emotion – as emotions are a sign of weakness. Crying is a big no-no, as well as opening up your issues to another person. These fester; build up over the years to the point where a man would feel like these are normal.
This machismo mentality can often cloud a person’s connection with other people. By being ‘closed off’, you miss out on plenty of social opportunities and possibilities.
The Psychological Factor
Perhaps your issue does not revolve around machismo. The desire to uphold ‘manliness’ may not be the obstacle blocking you from intimacy – however, the issues are probably still in your head. Feelings of inadequacy can often create roadblocks in relationships. Insecurities can sometimes tell you that you do not ‘deserve’ your current relationship.
This leads to people sabotaging themselves out of a relationship. While it can be a very avoidable issue, looking into your own insecurities can be very difficult. At times, men would rather let go of the relationship than see the lingering problem.
The Commitment Factor
Lastly, intimacy issues may come from a simple source – you may just not be ‘committed’ enough to the relationship to make an effort. Not every relationship is perfect. Not every partner ends up growing old with you. At times, relationships form out of unstable motivations such as lust or fear of loneliness. Without the right amount of effort, a relationship is doomed to fail. There are plenty of issues regarding intimacy. However, there is still hope. With the right amount of effort, any issue can be fixed – but you need to want it to make it a reality.