Being in a relationship is tough. There’s always an unspoken tug of war going on between the two of you. Sometimes, just understanding each other could be a chore in itself and will make you question if there is really something you’re doing wrong. Are you actually a good boyfriend, better than all the others? Or do you just think you are?
All of this love lingo could be a daunting task, but it may not also be as tough as you initially assumed. I’ve come up with 13 pieces of advice (and a supplementary F.A.Q) to strengthen that bond called love. By the end, we think you’ll have what it takes to be a good boyfriend.
If nothing else, you’ll be better equipped to deal with future romantic relationships.
So what does it take to be a good boyfriend?
The little things matter
One thing that we, men, often got wrong is that keeping a relationship hot and spicy are those grand gestures. We are talking about kneeling at the base of the Eiffel tower level of grandiose. Perhaps, something like that does at times. However, such is not always the case.
As important as it is to plan something extra special once in a while would definitely help your relationship, but do not overlook the little things. Most of the time, those little things are what give her the assurance that you love her and how grateful you are for having her in your life. It can be as simple as making her coffee while you watch a movie or making her a hot bath during her red days.
Random sweet acts work
This is one of the most useful boyfriend tips I can suggest. Similar to the first point, we often assume that being romantic equates to chocolates, flowers, gifts, and 5-star restaurant dates. Again, that’s not necessarily wrong, but this also isn’t what makes you a good boyfriend. Your life as a couple does not only exist during those times. It continues every single day.
Go on and ask her on a random date out of the blue. You need not put holes in your pockets to set up something sweet and special. Watching a movie, having a picnic in the park, or even reminiscing about special occasions are great options without needing to spend much.
It’s the small things and the sincerity of your actions that count more than anything.
Do not push her help away
As a man, we are somehow too trained and conditioned to carry everything on our shoulders. We somehow think that doing all the work equates to manliness and romance. That is true if we are in some cheap romantic movie. In reality, doing this actually creates gaps in a relationship.
Being open with each other is very important. More so, you don’t want your significant other feeling useless in any situation. We know that our instincts tell us to take her tasks and do everything for her. That sometimes makes things worse. Next time, however, let her do a small but significant role while doing anything. You’ll see what we mean.
Your looks matter
During the courting phase, we logically take care of our appearances. However, this somehow drastically drops after entering the relationship. We know, that most of us fail at this. However, being in a relationship is not a go signal to allow yourself to look like a wild boar.
In your bid to become a better boyfriend, make sure that you are taking care of yourself as well. No need to look like Brad Pitt. Mere proper hygiene and proper clothes should do the job well.
Build up your libido
It goes without saying that sex plays a big part in a relationship. It’s more than just the ecstatic feeling during the climax, but the entire act releases endorphins that keep you attracted to each other.
You naturally cannot expect to have the wild sex drive of a pubescent teen in your late thirties, but do not let that stop you from engaging in sex. If you do so, you’re only punishing both you and your partner.
Besides, sex is a ton of fun. She’ll be telling all her friends that you’re such a good boyfriend for giving it to her whenever she wants.
Try to be better
Sometimes building a better relationship starts with oneself. Instead of thinking of how to better the “us,” think of how to better the “me” first. We’ve already mentioned taking care of yourself. Try bettering your knowledge, skills, or career.
Your significant other may already love you for who you are. However, it’s always a proud moment to see your partner grow as a person and as a human. This should be the main focus of your quest to be a better boyfriend.
She is always part of everything
Some “me” time is your right and needed for sanity’s sake. Having no time to do what you love or go out with friends will drive anybody insane. However, that does not mean that your significant other is a separate universe from your circle of friends. If this is the case, she will most definitely feel that you are ashamed of her. This will almost always lead to a bad scenario. It’s better to mix things up and have some gatherings with just your friends, and sometimes with your girlfriend as well.
Look for a hobby for the both of you
By this, we don’t mean to look for separate hobbies to keep yourselves occupied. What we meant is look for a hobby that both of you can enjoy together. If you enjoy something, try tagging her along. If she didn’t like the activity, don’t push it, and instead try another. Don’t push a hobby on her, let her find something that she naturally likes. No one likes an unnecessarily pushy boyfriend. Better to find something you both naturally enjoy.
On the other hand, that does not mean that you should just sit down and wait. Communicate and try new things together. Who knows, you might find cornhole as something fun. Don’t be afraid of trying new things. Hell, maybe trying new things could be your new joint hobby.
Give her some support
Support is a basic foundation of a relationship. Each of you should support each other, but it still somehow gets overlooked most of the time. Just like most people, your significant other may have huge downtimes or times of doubting herself. Be it due to small or big life-changing reasons.
During these times, you must become a pillar to support her. This could mean all kinds of support: physical, emotional, mental, psychological, and even financial. However, it can also be as little as saying a few words of encouragement, or asking questions so you can better understand what she’s going through.
A perfect boyfriend only exists in some fantasy book or movie, but you can be a good boyfriend. Don’t blame yourself for being imperfect. After all, you’re still a human being. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t use that as an excuse to shut down every opinion and only think about yourself.
Most of the time, your partner will not talk about her troubles. You must be receptive to her troubles and feelings. Most of the time, it’s really not that hard. We just oftentimes neglect to pay attention and brush away our partners. Next time, notice some changes in her attitude or behavior. Maybe she’s already having a breakdown you didn’t know off.
Learn to speak her love language
This is a tip that can make or break your relationship. If you don’t know what a love language is, it’s basically the way we show and feel love. There are five languages of love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
For example, some people feel more loved when their partners spend time with them. Others may feel more loved when their partners perform acts of service, like making them breakfast in bed, or filling up their car’s gas tank.
Knowing your partner’s love language will help you express your love for her in a way that she can understand and feel. This will make her feel more loved, and in turn, she will also express her love for you more effectively.
Here’s a quick quiz you can take to find out your partner’s love language.
If you’re having a bad day, don’t take it out on her
We all have our bad days. But that doesn’t mean we should take it out on the people around us, especially our loved ones. When you’re feeling down, try to communicate with her instead of lashing out. Tell her what’s wrong, and let her in. Chances are, she’ll be more than happy to listen and try to help you feel better.
You don’t need to be the best boyfriend, just a great boyfriend
Lastly, stop pressuring yourself to be the best boyfriend. It’s a lot of pressure and it will only do more harm than good – to you and your partner. Just aim to be a great boyfriend, and that is definitely achievable. You don’t need to be some fantasy guy, just a great one for her will suffice.
F.A.Q (Frequently Asked Questions)
What are some bad habits that I should avoid?
Many bad habits can ruin a relationship, but here are some of the most common ones:
- Taking your partner for granted
- Not communicating enough
- Shutting down your partner’s opinions
- Being too possessive
- Getting too jealous
- Ignoring your partner’s needs
- Not being supportive
- Failing to pay attention
- Not speaking your partner’s love language
- Taking your bad day out on your partner
How can I be a more communicative boyfriend?
If you want to be a more communicative boyfriend, you should:
- Make an effort to listen more than you speak
- Ask your partner questions about her day, her thoughts, and her feelings
- Initiate conversations with your partner instead of waiting for her to start them
- Avoid interrupting your partner when she’s speaking
- Be honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings
- Try to avoid arguing with your partner, and instead try to resolve conflicts through discussion and compromise
- Don’t be afraid to express your emotions – both positive and negative – to your partner
- Let your partner know when you need some time alone, and respect her need for alone time as well
- Make an effort to spend quality time with your partner, and let her know that she’s the priority in your life
- Thank your partner for being understanding and supportive, even when it’s something small like listening to you vent about your day.
What are some things I can do to be more supportive?
If you want to be a more supportive boyfriend, you should:
- Be there for your partner when she needs to talk
- Listen to your partner without judgment, and offer advice or comfort if she wants it
- Help your partner with her problems, whether it’s something big or small
- Encourage your partner to pursue her goals and dreams
- Believe in your partner and be her biggest cheerleader
- Be patient with your partner, even when she’s going through a tough time
- Respect your partner’s decisions, even if you don’t agree with them
- Stand up for your partner, even when she’s not around
- Be willing to compromise with your partner
- Always be honest with your partner
Should my girlfriend also be one of my best friends?
It’s not necessary for your girlfriend to also be your best friend, but it can certainly help make your relationship stronger. Having a best friend as a partner can mean that you:
- Have someone you can always count on
- Can rely on each other for honest feedback and support
- Feel comfortable communicating with each other about anything
- Trust each other implicitly
- Have fun together and enjoy each other’s company
- Are emotionally and mentally compatible
- Can rely on each other during tough times
- Can be yourselves around each other
- Have similar values and interests
- Accept each other unconditionally
What are some of the most important things to remember in a relationship?
Some of the most important things to remember in a relationship are:
- That you’re not perfect and neither is your partner – accept each other’s flaws and learn to love them
- That communication is key – talk to each other about everything, both the good and the bad
- That relationships take work – be willing to put in the effort to make your relationship work
- That fights are inevitable – don’t try to avoid them, but learn how to resolve conflicts constructively
- That you need to make time for each other – date nights, weekends away, and regular quality time are all important
- That your relationship should make you happy – if it’s not, then something needs to change
- That relationships require to give and take – be willing to compromise and sacrifice for your partner
- That respect is essential – for each other and yourselves
- That relationships can be hard, but they’re also incredibly rewarding
- That love is worth fighting for – no matter what happens, never give up on each other.
Is it important to be a good listener?
It’s important to be a good listener in any relationship, whether it’s with a friend, family member, or partner. Good listeners:
- Pay attention and show they’re interested in what the other person has to say
- Ask questions to clarify understanding and probe for more information
- Reflect on what they’ve heard to ensure accuracy and provide feedback
- Respect the other person’s views, even if they differ from their own
- Avoid interrupting and allow the other person to finish speaking
- Don’t offer unsolicited advice or try to fix the other person’s problems
- Listen without judgment and be open-minded
- Empathize with the other person’s feelings
- Keep confidence and respect her privacy
- Try to see things from the other person’s perspective.
What are some things boyfriends can do to make their girlfriends feel special?
Some things boyfriends can do to make their girlfriends feel special are:
- Compliment her – tell her what you love about her, both physically and personality-wise
- Spend time with her – give her your undivided attention when you’re together
- Listen to her – really listen and try to understand what she’s saying
- Be supportive – be there for her when she needs you, whether she just wants to vent or she needs help with something
- Be thoughtful – remember things that are important to her and do small things to make her feel loved
- Be affectionate – show her you love her with both words and actions
- Make time for her – even if you’re busy, find time in your schedule for her
- Talk to her – about anything and everything, both the good and the bad
- Respect her – treat her with respect and as an equal partner in the relationship
- Love her – unconditionally and without reservation.
Why does my dream girl give me a hard time sometimes?
There could be several reasons why your dream girl gives you a hard time sometimes. It could be that she’s testing you to see how much you care about her, or it could be that she’s trying to teach you patience. It could also be that she’s going through something herself and taking it out on you. Whatever the reason, it’s important to be understanding and try to see things from her perspective. If you can do that, then you’ll be one step closer to being the perfect boyfriend.
What’s the most important part of any relationship?
There are many important parts of any relationship, but some would say that communication is the most important. Without communication, it’s difficult to understand each other and work through problems. Other important aspects of a relationship include trust, respect, and love. All three of these things are necessary for a strong and healthy relationship.
I feel like I’ve got a long way to go to be a better man…
If you feel like you’ve got a long way to go to be a better man, then don’t worry – you’re not alone. We all have room for improvement, and it’s never too late to start making changes. If you want to be a better boyfriend, husband, or father, then start by implementing some of the tips in this article. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Trust us – your dream girl will thank you for it.
How can we all do better?
Got some useful tips of your own? We’re always looking for the best ways to turn a good boyfriend into an awesome boyfriend, so leave me a comment below with your ideas and I’ll add them to the article.
Remember guys, with a little effort, you can do better. A healthy relationship requires work from both parties, so put in the effort and you’ll see results. Your girlfriend will definitely appreciate it!