How to Be a Better Boyfriend: 10 Tips for a Better Relationship

Being in a relationship is tough. There’s always an unspoken tug of war going on between the two of you. Sometimes, just understanding each other could be a chore in itself and will make you question if there is something you’re doing wrong. Are you a good boyfriend, better than all the others? Or do you think you are?

This love jargon could be daunting, but it may not be as challenging as you initially assumed. I’ve devised 13 pieces of advice (and a supplementary F.A.Q.) to strengthen that love bond. By the end, we think you’ll have what it takes to be a good boyfriend.

If nothing else, these tips will better equip you to deal with future romantic relationships.

So what does it take to be a good boyfriend?

The little things matter

One thing that we, men, often get wrong is that keeping a relationship hot and spicy are those grand gestures. We are talking about kneeling at the base of the Eiffel tower level of grandiose. Perhaps, something like that does at times. However, such is not always the case.

As important as planning something extra special once in a while that would help your relationship, do not overlook the little things. Most of the time, those little things are what give her the assurance that you love her and how grateful you are for having her in your life. It can be as simple as making her coffee while you watch a movie or making her a hot bath during her red days.

Random sweet acts work.

This is one of the most helpful boyfriend tips I can suggest. Similar to the first point, we often assume that being romantic equates to chocolates, flowers, gifts, and 5-star restaurant dates. Again, that’s not necessarily wrong, but this also isn’t what makes you a good boyfriend. Your life as a couple does not only exist during those times. It continues every single day.

Go on and ask her on a random date out of the blue. You need not put holes in your pockets to set up something sweet and special. Watching a movie, having a picnic in the park, or even reminiscing about special occasions are great options without spending much.

The small things and the sincerity of your actions count more than anything.

Do not push her help away.

As men, we are somehow too trained and conditioned to carry everything on our shoulders. We somehow think that doing all the work equates to manliness and romance. That is true if we are in some cheap romantic movie. In reality, doing this creates gaps in a relationship.

Being open with each other is very important. You don’t want your significant other feeling useless in any situation. We know that our instincts tell us to take her tasks and do everything for her. That sometimes makes things worse. Next time, however, let her do a small but significant role while doing anything. You’ll see what we mean.

Your looks matter

During the courting phase, we logically take care of our appearances. However, this somehow drastically drops after entering the relationship. We know that most of us fail at this. However, being in a relationship is not a signal to allow yourself to look like a wild boar.

To become a better boyfriend, ensure that you are taking care of yourself as well—no need to look like Brad Pitt. Mere proper hygiene and proper clothes should do the job well.

Build up your libido

Sex plays a big part in a relationship. It’s more than just the ecstatic feeling during the climax, but the entire act releases endorphins that keep you attracted to each other.

You naturally cannot expect the wild sex drive of a pubescent teen in your late thirties, but do not let that stop you from engaging in sex. If you do so, you’re only punishing both you and your partner.

Besides, sex is a ton of fun. She’ll tell all her friends that you’re such a good boyfriend for giving it to her whenever she wants.

Try to be better

Sometimes building a better relationship starts with oneself. Instead of improving the “us,” think of how to better the “me” first. We’ve already mentioned taking care of yourself. Try enhancing your knowledge, skills, or career.

Your significant other may already love you for who you are. However, it’s always a proud moment to see your partner grow as a person and human. This should be the main focus of your quest to be a better boyfriend.

She is always part of everything.

Some “me” time is your right and needed for sanity’s sake. Having no time to do what you love or go out with friends will drive anybody insane. However, that does not mean that your significant other is in a separate universe from your circle of friends. If this is the case, she will feel you are ashamed of her. This will almost always lead to a bad scenario. It’s better to mix things up and have some gatherings with your friends, and sometimes with your girlfriend.

Look for a hobby for both of you.

By this, we don’t mean looking for separate hobbies to keep you occupied. We mean looking for a hobby you can enjoy together. If you want something, try tagging her along. If she didn’t like the activity, don’t push it; instead, try another. Don’t push a hobby on her; let her find something she naturally wants. No one likes an unnecessarily pushy boyfriend. Better to find something you both naturally enjoy.

On the other hand, that does not mean that you should sit down and wait. Communicate and try new things together. Who knows, you might find cornhole as something fun. Don’t be afraid of trying new things. Hell, maybe trying new things could be your new joint hobby.

Give her some support.

Support is an essential foundation of a relationship. Each of you should support the other, but it still somehow gets overlooked most of the time. Like most people, your significant other may have massive downtimes or times of doubting herself. Be it due to small or big life-changing reasons.

During these times, you must become a pillar to support her. This could mean all kinds of support: physical, emotional, mental, psychological, and even financial. However, it can also be as little as saying a few words of encouragement or asking questions so you can better understand what she’s going through.

Pay attention

A perfect boyfriend only exists in some fantasy book or movie, but you can be a good boyfriend. Don’t blame yourself for being imperfect. After all, you’re still a human being. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t use that as an excuse to shut down every opinion and only think about yourself.

Most of the time, your partner will not talk about her troubles. You must be receptive to her problems and feelings. Most of the time, it’s not that hard. We just often neglect to pay attention and brush away from our partners. Next time, notice some changes in her attitude or behavior. Maybe she already has a breakdown you didn’t know of.

Learn to speak her love language

This is a tip that can make or break your relationship. If you don’t know what a love language is, it’s how we show and feel love. There are five languages of love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

For example, some people feel more loved when their partners spend time with them. Others may feel more loved when their partners perform acts of service, like making them breakfast in bed or filling up their car’s gas tank.

Knowing your partner’s love language will help you express your love for her in a way that she can understand and feel. This will make her feel more loved and communicate her love for you more effectively.

Here’s a quick quiz you can take to find out your partner’s love language.

If you’re having a bad day, don’t take it out on her

We all have our bad days. But that doesn’t mean we should take it out on the people around us, especially our loved ones. When feeling down, try to communicate with her instead of lashing out. Tell her what’s wrong, and let her in. Chances are, she’ll be more than happy to listen and try to help you feel better.

You don’t need to be the best boyfriend, just a great boyfriend

Lastly, stop pressuring yourself to be the best boyfriend. It’s a lot of pressure and will only do more harm than good to you and your partner. Just aim to be a great boyfriend, and that is achievable. You don’t need to be some fantasy guy; a great one for her will suffice.

F.A.Q. (Frequently Asked Questions)

What are some bad habits that I should avoid?

Many bad habits can ruin a relationship, but here are some of the most common ones:

Taking your partner for granted
Not communicating enough
Shutting down your partner’s opinions
Being too possessive
Getting too jealous
Ignoring your partner’s needs
Not being supportive
Failing to pay attention
Not speaking your partner’s love language
Taking your bad day out on your partner

How can I be a more communicative boyfriend?

If you want to be a more communicative boyfriend, you should:

Make an effort to listen more than you speak
Ask your partner questions about her day, her thoughts, and her feelings
Initiate conversations with your partner instead of waiting for her to start them
Avoid interrupting your partner when she’s speaking
Be honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings
Try to avoid arguing with your partner, and instead try to resolve conflicts through discussion and compromise
Don’t be afraid to express your emotions – both positive and negative – to your partner
Let your partner know when you need some time alone, and respect her need for alone time as well
Please make an effort to spend quality time with your partner, and let her know that she’s the priority in your life
Thank your partner for being understanding and supportive, even when it’s something small like listening to you vent about your day.

What are some things I can do to be more supportive?

If you want to be a more supportive boyfriend, you should:

Be there for your partner when she needs to talk
Listen to your partner without judgment, and offer advice or comfort if she wants it
Help your partner with her problems, whether it’s something big or small
Encourage your partner to pursue her goals and dreams
Believe in your partner and be her biggest cheerleader
Be patient with your partner, even when she’s going through a tough time
Respect your partner’s decisions, even if you disagree with them
Please stand up for your partner, even when she’s not around
Be willing to compromise with your partner
Always be honest with your partner

Should my girlfriend also be one of my best friends?

Your girlfriend doesn’t need to be your best friend, but it can help strengthen your relationship. Having a best friend as a partner can mean that you:

Have someone you can always count on
Can rely on each other for honest feedback and support
Feel comfortable communicating with each other about anything
Trust each other implicitly
Have fun together and enjoy each other’s company
Are emotionally and mentally compatible
Can rely on each other during tough times
Can be yourselves around each other
Have similar values and interests
Accept each other unconditionally

What are some of the most important things to remember in a relationship?

Some of the most important things to remember in a relationship are:

That you’re not perfect and neither is your partner – accept each other’s flaws and learn to love them
That communication is key – talk to each other about everything, both the good and the bad
That relationships take work – be willing to put in the effort to make your relationship work
That fights are inevitable – don’t try to avoid them, but learn how to resolve conflicts constructively
That you need to make time for each other – date nights, weekends away, and regular quality time are all important
That your relationship should make you happy – if it’s not, then something needs to change
That relationships require give and take – be willing to compromise and sacrifice for your partner
That respect is essential – for each other and yourselves
That relationships can be challenging, but they’re also incredibly rewarding
That love is worth fighting for – no matter what happens, never give up on each other.

Is it essential to be a good listener?

It’s essential to be a good listener in any relationship, whether with a friend, family member, or partner. Good listeners:

Pay attention and show they’re interested in what the other person has to say
Ask questions to clarify understanding and probe for more information
Reflect on what they’ve heard to ensure accuracy and provide feedback
Respect the other person’s views, even if they differ from their own
Avoid interrupting and allow the other person to finish speaking
Don’t offer unsolicited advice or try to fix the other person’s problems
Listen without judgment and be open-minded
Empathize with the other person’s feelings
Keep confidence and respect her privacy
Try to see things from the other person’s perspective.

What are some things boyfriends can do to make their girlfriends feel special?

Some things boyfriends can do to make their girlfriends feel special are:

Compliment her – tell her what you love about her, both physically and personality-wise
Spend time with her – give her your undivided attention when you’re together
Listen to her – really listen and try to understand what she’s saying
Be supportive – be there for her when she needs you, whether she wants to vent or she needs help with something
Be thoughtful – remember things that are important to her and do small things to make her feel loved
Be affectionate – show her you love her with both words and actions
Make time for her – even if you’re busy, find time in your schedule for her
Talk to her – about anything and everything, both the good and the bad
Respect her – treat her with respect and as an equal partner in the relationship
Love her – unconditionally and without reservation.

Why does my dream girl give me a hard time sometimes?

There could be several reasons your dream girl sometimes gives you a hard time. It could be that she’s testing you to see how much you care about her, or it could be that she’s trying to teach you patience. It could also be that she’s going through something herself and taking it out on you. Whatever the reason, it’s essential to understand and try to see things from her perspective. If you can do that, you’ll be one step closer to being the perfect boyfriend.

What’s the most important part of any relationship?

There are many vital parts of any relationship, but some say communication is the most important. Without communication, it’s difficult to understand each other and work through problems. Other important aspects of a relationship include trust, respect, and love. All three of these things are necessary for a strong and healthy relationship.

I feel like I’ve got a long way to go to be a better man…

If you feel you’ve got a long way to go to be a better man, then don’t worry – you’re not alone. We all have room for improvement, and it’s never too late to start making changes. If you want to be a better boyfriend, husband, or father, begin by implementing some tips in this article. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Trust us – your dream girl will thank you for it.

How can we all do better?

Got some helpful tips of your own? We’re always looking for the best ways to turn a good boyfriend into an awesome boyfriend, so leave me a comment below with your ideas, and I’ll add them to the article.

Remember, guys, with a little effort; you can do better. A healthy relationship requires work from both parties, so put in the effort, and you’ll see results. Your girlfriend will appreciate it!

Community tips on how to be a better boyfriend

Since I first published this article, I’ve received great feedback and tips from the community on becoming a better boyfriend. Here are the best ones I’ve received so far:

On handling her tantrums…

Handle her tantrums and mood swings with care and patience. Don’t get pissed off. Instead, enjoy them, and make her feel special. Girls are naturally compassionate and emotional, so they must be handled with care and patience. It is not their fault if they throw tantrums and have mood swings. It is natural. Be patient and calm.

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Try to understand the hidden indication.

Women have more emotional fluctuation than men. If she is not talking to you means she is angry but does not want a fight. Try to communicate and understand what hurt her. Showing love is more important in a relationship. For example, suppose it is not like you love them, and they will always feel it. Showing affection is necessary to boost your relationship and trust. If your girlfriend needs your attention, she will ignore you. Generally, a woman wants you to understand their need without saying, but she will always give you a hidden indication that you need to pay attention to communication.

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Research her love language.

To be an awesome boyfriend, you need to research your love language. Ask your partner what their love language is and if they don’t know, take a quiz (there are loads online); when you find out, research that love language and what you can do daily to make your partner happy.

For example, my wife’s love language is gift-giving, so I often pick up treats from the store when I am out for her, and she loves it!

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Be sympathetic.

It should mean something to you if it means anything to them. Even if you weren’t interested in the topic without their influence, being in a relationship is about supporting one another and sharing experiences. Try to grasp their perspective and put yourself in their place when they are upset. Despite your belief that it “isn’t that big of a deal,” don’t just brush aside their feelings.

When you soothe them, ensure they know you’re paying attention and sounding serious. Try to alter your thought process if you do not feel genuinely regretful. Consider the situation from their viewpoint. They may occasionally need someone to soothe them while they cry. Please don’t attempt to solve their issues immediately. Be practical after they’ve dealt with all of their emotions, not before. It is crucial to ask if they want to talk about it if they’re upset. Could you show them your genuine concern? Don’t press them if they aren’t ready to discuss it just now.

Be honest.

With very few exceptions, honesty is the best policy in any relationship. You’ll be less likely to encounter issues later on if you’re honest from the start of your relationship. It would help if you let them know what they need to know without overloading them with the truth. For instance, you can tell them if you previously had a meaningful relationship without mentioning your ex.

Be kind to yourself while being honest. Don’t feel as though you have to make every comment appear favorable. Offer an alternative in its place. For instance, if they ask you if you like anything they are trying on, say that it might work but that you like the blue item so far because it accentuates their beautiful personality and amazing eyes. It’s important to embrace other people’s honesty and feel at ease with your own. You need to be able to handle the truth if you want to be a good lover.

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Get therapy.

Want to be a better boyfriend? Go to therapy. You would be amazed at how much baggage from your past affects your ability to be attentive, present, and compassionate in the here and now. You’ll become a better sex partner, a freer lover, less receptive to toxic relationships, better manage finances, and feel otherwise more mature and confident. It’s your catch-all to improve most areas of your life. Not all therapies are the same, and I would stick to EMDR or I.F.S. therapy so you can adequately address past baggage.

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Be a man with a plan.

You ask her to go out on Saturday night, and she says, “Yes, what did you have in mind to do?”

Don’t say, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

She will not see you as a better boyfriend. If you can’t even plan a date, she will wonder how you would handle the challenges of marriage and family life.

When asking your girlfriend out, be a man with a plan.

When you see situations that need to be dealt with and step forward with a plan, it makes her feel safe and protected. She likes it when you don’t leave it all to her to handle and make all the decisions.

Some men may think they are showing the women they are non-controlling. Nobody should be controlling. But when a woman always has to tell a man what to do, it makes her feel that he is a child and she is his mother. She doesn’t want to be your mother. She wants you to be a better boyfriend.

Elliott Katz, bestselling author, Award Press.

Communication and attention.

The answer to this question is twofold. First, men can become better boyfriends by being more communicative with their partners and expressing their feelings more openly. Too often, men tend to shut down emotionally and withdraw when things get tough instead of talking about their feelings and working through problems. This creates an emotional distance between partners.

Second, men can become better boyfriends by being more attentive to their partner’s needs and actively meeting them. This can be done by actively listening, being present and available when they need you, and ensuring that your actions reflect your words. Through these steps, men can develop more robust, fulfilling relationships with their partners.

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Get supportive.

The most important thing is to be supportive. You should be there for her if she’s having a tough day at work or needs someone to vent to. Be understanding and patient, and try to make things as stress-free for her as possible. Keep the lines of communication open and honest, and don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings.

In addition to being a good listener and communicator, you should also be considerate and thoughtful. Plan surprise date nights or little gifts for her just because. Show her how much you care about her by doing things to make her life easier. And always try to make her laugh – humor is an essential ingredient in any relationship!

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Many ways to show your love.

Being a good boyfriend isn’t just about making your partner happy – although that’s a big part. It’s also about taking an active role in the relationship, being communicative and understanding, and being supportive when times are tough. If you’re looking to be a better boyfriend, here are some tips to get you started:

Listen to your partner. It sounds simple, but one of the best things you can do for your relationship is to listen to what your partner has to say. Listen without interruption or judgment. This will help you to understand their needs and perspective and show them that you care.
Be communicative. Another critical element of being a good boyfriend is communicating with your partner. This means sharing your thoughts and feelings openly and being receptive to theirs. It can be challenging to open up, but the more you do it, the easier it will become – and the closer you’ll feel to each other.
Be supportive. No relationship is perfect, and there will be ups and downs. During tough times, it’s essential to be supportive of your partner – whether that means listening when they need to vent, lending a shoulder to cry on, or just being there for whatever they need.
Make time for them. Letting work or other commitments take precedence over your relationship can be easy in today’s busy world. But if you want to be a good boyfriend, it’s essential to make time for your partner – even if it’s just for a quick catch-up chat or coffee date once in a while.
Be thoughtful. Another way to show your partner that you care is by being considerate towards them – remembering special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, doing something nice for them out of the blue, or simply telling them how much you appreciate them. Little gestures like this can go a long way in making your partner feel loved and valued.

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Take some of their burdens.

To be an awesome boyfriend, you should find one skill your lover does in the relationship more than you (i.e., cook) and take the time to learn that skill well enough to take some of the workloads off them. Take an online course, in-person, in class, or watch a ton of YouTube. Give your partner some downtime from something they feel pressured to do all the time for you.

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Respect, Affection, Goals.

He knows how to respect any woman – if a guy is genuinely respectful, there must not be an exemption on whom he acts that way. Because if he did, it is possible that this kind of quality is only temporary and might fade over time.

Affectionate – he’s not scared of showing his love. It could be through material things or pure affection through physical actions. Because an awesome boyfriend is not shy to prove his love in any way possible.

He has goals with you – a good boyfriend has plans, but an awesome boyfriend includes you in his goals. It implies that he sees you in the future and is serious about your relationship. Qualities like this commonly indicate that they are “date-to-marry” type of guy.

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Let go of the reigns.

Let go of the reins! What I mean by this is to let her make the decisions about her day-to-day life. No one likes to be controlled or made to feel incompetent. When it happens, you start to doubt your own abilities and self-worth. Trust me, nothing kills intimacy quicker than criticism. To foster a deeper connection and bond with your partner, let her have autonomy over her journey.

Encourage her to do things that bring her happiness. Don’t let her neglect her needs, or the person in front of you will start to resemble a gremlin more than the person you fell in love with. Push her to do three things every day that make her smile, and if that means you have to do the dishes so she has time to do it, roll up your sleeves, buddy!

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Be more attentive.

The first step would be to just be more attentive. One of the partners’ biggest complaints is that their boyfriend doesn’t pay enough attention to them. Very often, they are too busy playing video games, working, or spending time with their mates. A little bit of attention and being attentive goes a very long way.

Spend quality time with your girlfriend or boyfriend too. These can be great eccentric dates – this shows how much you’re willing to spend time and effort on them. However, you don’t have to spend a lot of money, this isn’t important at all. Cooking meals together, star gazing, watching a film together…these are so much more worthwhile than you might think.

I’d also say, sometimes people just want to have somebody to rant to. For example, if your girlfriend is ranting about a work issue, sometimes just listen and agree. A rational solution isn’t necessarily what they are wanting at that moment.

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Become a better person.

As a relationship expert, I believe you must become a good person before becoming a good partner. So the fact that you are trying to change yourselves for the better is commendable. Here are my best tips for becoming a better boyfriend.

People often confuse materialistic things with a better boyfriend; if he’s giving you expensive gifts or taking you out on dinners, that overlooks that he’s not a good listener or toxic for you.

To be a better boyfriend, you have to be your girl’s best friend; you have to know when to listen, talk, offer advice, and shower her with love, support, and affection. You need to give them space and room for growth. Stay calm during fights and try to understand their perspective and what they want. You need to be someone they can look up to, respect, and even inspire to be a better partner.

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Michelle weighs in…

Respect and support her: Respect your girlfriend and their decisions. Show them you are always there to support her in any way.
Make time for her: One of the most important things a boyfriend should do is always make time for her. Your girlfriend appreciates this the most because it makes them feel included in your priorities.
Communicate: This is a no-brainer, but communication is the key to keeping your relationship. If you feel something is wrong with her, tell her you are always there to listen to her.

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April weighs in…

Be consistent. Sometimes when we know someone deeper and longer, we tend to skip things we usually do because we believe that we are accepted and loved, so no matter what we do, we will be forgiven.
Always try your best. If you got someone’s yes, it doesn’t mean that she won’t be needing your efforts anymore. If you are now an official boyfriend, there are fewer limitations, so you have to give more than you gave before.
Be in a relationship to get married. If you don’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with the person you’re with right now, then what’s the point of being together? That’s just a waste of time!

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Sincerity is key.

To begin with, you should be sincere with your intentions. Ask yourself if you like the person that you’re pursuing. If you do, you’ll try to pursue and understand that person.
Know when to talk and when to listen. Sometimes, a person just wants someone to listen to them. When you try to talk over them, they might feel you’re not listening. Sometimes, it’s enough that you are there and you comfort them with your presence.
Know your boundaries. Ask that person what they are comfortable with and not. If you overstep, this may result in them feeling uncomfortable around you. Know what is healthy for your relationship.

Sonya Schwartz, Founder of Her Norm.

Show sincerity and respect in communication.

Your words can be uplifting and hurtful; they can create or destroy the relationship. Approach disagreements not in haste, avoid inflicting words of accusations, and instead, seek clarification. Saying “Sorry” and “Let me get that for you” as words with actions communicates your true intention. Use your words to show affection and appreciation; compliment your special someone often. Never forget to let your words build trust in the relationship rather than tear it down.

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Stop trying to fix her problems.

One of men’s biggest mistakes when trying to support their partner is jumping to the rescue with solutions. Logically, it makes sense: You want to help solve her problems so she can be happy, right?

But if you immediately go into a problem-solving mode with her, it can feel dismissive or patronizing. Your well-intentioned fixing will come across as, “You shouldn’t be experiencing this. You’re doing it wrong. You should do this instead.”

What she wants is to be heard and understood. Focus on showing compassion and validating her feelings by saying things like, “That sounds hard. I’m sorry you’re going through this.” Share what you’ve understood about her experience and why this struggle is so painful for her.

If she wants solutions, she’ll ask. And if you’re not sure, you can ask: “Would you like my help to brainstorm solutions? Or do you want me to just listen?”

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Some key ingredients.

Being an amazing boyfriend is more than buying your partner roses and chocolates. It has more to do with your level of respect towards yourself and your significant other. One of the main keys to showing up as an awesome boyfriend is learning to embody your masculine energy. What does this look like?

Focus on your mission and purpose. When you love yourself enough to focus on building yourself, you will naturally bring more powerful energy to the relationship. That passion you put out towards your visions and goals will also seep into your partner, creating a stronger and more beautiful bond.
Build emotional resilience. When you can understand your own emotions and learn to manage them, you’ll be able to learn how to deal with your partner’s emotions. This will not only help the relationship become stronger, but you will also be seen as a grounded and mature man, and there’s nothing sexier than that.
Be a man of your word. When you say you’re gonna do something, follow through with that. Doing this will help build self-trust and help your partner trust you more. Learn to lead with integrity and confidence.
Be spontaneous and exciting. The more hobbies and passions you have, the more you have to share with your lover. Plan fun dates and surprise your partner with an activity they’ll enjoy. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things together.

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