Fine Living

At the beginning of the year, I traveled with my girlfriend to Belize on a journey that would test our endurance – both physically and mentally – and our capacity to withstand the onslaught of shitty lodging that Belize has to offer, both on the mainland, and out on the keys. Though I’m certain that many of the hotels and hostels available on Caye Caulker are wonderful, I assure you that De Real Macaw isn’t one of them. Let me explain…

Have you ever wanted to fall asleep to the soothing sounds of your significant other shitting? Have you ever woken up and said “you know, my bathroom is just too large, I really wish I had one so small that a legless child can hardly fit?”. If you answered yes to either of these questions, and want to experience the exhilaration that comes with fearing for your life, De Real Macaw is the place to stay! If I had to sum this place up in one word, that word would be “depressing”. The rooms are small, which isn’t unreasonable given the price, but the in-suite bathroom (and I do mean in-suite) lends itself well to the prison like nature of the rooms. At one point the owner must have decided that a 3/4 wall around the bathroom would suffice, and so it was. Want some privacy? Forget it. The toilet may as well be sitting in the middle of the room.