I decided not to actually arrange these from “elegant to erotic”, so please forgive the title’s minor false advertising; I promise I’ll make it up to you. These are a collection of letter openers that I haven’t actually bought (or even intend to purchase) but that seem pretty damn cool. If I actually opened letters, I would probably buy one of these.

When I started writing this article I figured I would find a lot of weird crap, and I did, but I would be lying if I said I expected to find a letter opener of a woman spreading her legs. It’s supposed to be considered erotic, but honestly… who wants a woman whose pussy is so sharp it can slice paper?
