You know, we talk about bacon a lot. Really; bacon is one of those magical man foods that makes everything taste and smell delicious and wonderful, but I have to wonder- in the case of Bacon Lube… are you that ashamed of your junk that you need the attractive prowess of the world’s wonder meat to improve your own? Bacon Lube started out as an April Fools joke, and thanks to all the men on the net with more hunger and chest hair than brains, it is now a real product. I honestly can’t decide if this is the crowning achievement of civilization or if it’s the most retarded thing a man could possibly slather on his nether regions (and in this day and age, that’s really saying something.)
Gina
Don Cheadle is Asshole Captain Planet
I used to watch a lot of Captain Planet. I’m not actually sure why, as he had a mullet and made bad puns and hung out with a lot of ineffectual kids in his pajamas, but I guess the underlying message was a good one so it makes up for my poor judgement. When you compared Captain Planet to everything else that was going on- Ninja Turtles, Transformers, GI Joe, X-Men, Batman The Animated Series (my god did we ever have it good growing up)- it was a pretty wussy show all around. Captain Planet had the makings of a finished man, so don’t get me wrong, and environmental stewardship is super important, but dammit… overall, he just sucked. Luckily, Funny or Die has re-imagined Captain Planet as the hardcore envirogangsta he should have always been, with the help of the brilliant Don Cheadle. The power is yours, bitches.
Manly Design with Wooden Cinderblocks and Oil Lamps – Sergio Silva
Most older guys will fondly reminisce about the days where they created customized (read: poor as shit) man caves with milk crates, two by fours, and cinderblocks.
Something about the way the manly design of this makeshift modular crap is fondly remembered always made it something that a small part of me wanted to try, just because it seemed like a rite of passage. I usually snap back to reality pretty quickly, realize I don’t want trash in my apartment, and pull out the Ikea catalog. Then I found Sergio Silva‘s pieces, and suddenly the “I’m so broke I cook my KD on the radiator” look has been upgraded to a much more respectable “I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”
