The Lazy Guys’ Guide to Christmas

Let’s be honest about it; Christmas can be a pain. The financial pressures and stresses, buying the presents, cooking the meals, and just the whole organization of it all are terrible. Thankfully though, for the lazy guy, there are ways around it all. Here are our tips:

  1. Christmas apparel should be purchased early. A Christmas sweater, or even an all-in-one such as these options from Morph Costumes will last years, while also being a cool talking point. Clothes such as these are also an excellent, catch-all present for old and young alike, as are socks and hats.
  2. If you have a garage, don’t even bother dismantling the plastic tree – in fact, don’t even take the decorations off. Simply cover it with a sheet and move it elsewhere. Perfect for next year as well.
  3. Order everything online, from crackers to decorations. We’re going to go out on a limb here and guessing that somewhere in your Facebook feed is a bubbly, bouncy person who would be only-too-happy to help you decorate your house for Christmas. The sort of person who creates scenes like these on Pinterest. Use their services, possibly through the initial deception of inviting them over for a coffee.
  4. Utilise guides such as this from the NY Times to inform your gift purchasing decisions, or simply buy a group of vouchers for sport, theatre or the cinema and hand them out to friends and family.
  5. Download an app to programme your satellite dish and pre-set every TV show from your couch. Why move when you don’t have to do so?
  6. The Christmas dinner is a dreadful responsibility, so absolve yourself of it. Buying online and getting it delivered is a great way to cut down on time and wasted energy. Some companies actually prepare a Christmas dinner in a box for you, to certain set levels of cost. Use them.
  7. If you have to do it yourself remember there is no obligation for turkey, but if you do want it pick up pre-cooked slices and throw them in the microwave. You can buy precooked vegetables, roast potatoes and stuffing, and you’ll probably find a jar of cranberry sauce in the back of a cupboard, if you can be bothered to look. Better yet, pick up a microwave roast meal and do everything in one go.
  8. Wear extra layers – sweater, socks and even coats – so that you do not have to rise to turn on the radiator.
  9. Go to your folks’ house for dinner. It involves driving, unless you can take the train instead (book a taxi to get to the station). However on arrival your Mum will probably do everything for you, from preparing the Christmas meal to bringing you free beers.
  10. Go to the restaurant/on holiday and forget all of the above. Yes, there are the minor concerns of booking and arriving and the costs, but these are secondary to actually having to do anything. The meal (and beers) will be brought to your table while you and the family engage in football talk. A holiday, booked early enough, will mean that you don’t even need to do any of the above.

Pretty straight forward, right?

If you have any suggestions of your own, please… don’t hesitate leaving me a comment below. If it’s good enough I’ll add it to the list, because that saves me from having to come up with more points of my own! See? There’s a method to my madness.

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Jared

Jared writes lifestyle content for Unfinished Man with an edgy, provocative voice. His passion for tattoos informs his unique perspective shaped by self-expression. Jared's knack for storytelling and ability to connect with readers delivers entertaining takes on modern manhood.

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