Fuck bruh. Sometimes it sucks being single! You can’t get laid whenever you want. Your meals suck. Less of an income. Crippling loneliness. You know, the slow march to eventual death.
But between now and then, you can make the most of it! Just because you are single does not mean that your life fucking sucks! In fact, it is quite the opposite! If you think that your life and, overall, your sex life is sad, pathetic, and devoid of any meaning, get the fuck out of here with that bullshit!
The world is your oyster! Your sexual buffet! All you have to do is know how to sexually satisfy your urges without being in a traditional relationship. Here are a few pointers.
Jerk off to porn videos
The tried-and-true is the tried-and-true for a reason: because it works. If you are a lonely single man and you want sexual satisfaction that only wet pussy can offer, well, you’re not getting any tonight. But you can watch wet pussy up close and personally from the comfort of your own device while you stroke that cock. And once your orgasm, fuck, who really cares?
It may seem like an uncreative suggestion, but jerking off to porn really does help you to fucking feel better about your lack of a sex life. According to scientists in 2019, jerking off helps you to sleep better. Not only do you get to stroke it and feel good in the moment, but you sleep better, and, at least for the moment, you don’t need anyone else to help you cum!
If you don’t want to use your fucking hands and prefer to use a toy or a masturbator of some kind, check out some of the top online sex shop reviews to find something that feels closer to the real thing. You will find sex toys that can be shipped discreetly and will get the job done better than your hand ever could! Just be sure you pack plenty of lube – you don’t want third-degree latex burns on your cock!
Book a session with a professional
If you prefer a more IRL experience, don’t think your only option is to go out and try to woo a woman to fuck you in a bar or at the local supermarket. You can try. But if your game is so bad that you’d rather skip the embarrassment altogether, try an alternative method.
One option is to hire a professional. Do it safely by adhering to a list of trusted escort sites. You can safely and quickly find working professionals that can give you the sexual satisfaction you’ve been looking for.
Just because you’re single without any game, that doesn’t fucking mean that you have to miss out on what others better than you can get! And you get to skip out on all of that bullshit! What a win!
You can also go to a strip club and see what kind of feisty dancers are working that night. If only a lap dance will do the trick, go to the club without any underwear. Order a lap dance, and it’ll be like they’re grinding on your dick, except for the thin fabrics blocking your genitals from theirs! My, that’s fucking close to getting your cock ridden!
Whichever option you choose, you can get your dick wet for real! You don’t have to fantasize about fucking a tight pussy when fucking a masturbator, nor do you have to imagine a porn star deep-throating your cock while you watch videos. Those are all great options, but the real-life experience is not out of reach.
Just be safe about the professional you choose. Always verify that the likeness they share with you in an image and video is who they really are in the real world. Otherwise, pass up on that shit!
Get a sugar mom
If you want a personable experience where you can touch the person you’re lusting after, another option exists. Specifically for those who are attracted to older women. You can get acquainted with a sugar mom, sugar babe, or whatever the fuck you want to call them. The point is that if you want a relationship where a working professional – usually a MILF or a cougar – you can find them waiting for a single, lonely guy like you.
Check out this list of the best mainstream and fet-friendly dating sites to find profiles of sugar moms. Make a profile. Don’t be a shy bitch. Now, what kind of sugar mom arrangement do you want?
It differs from one sugar mom to the next. Usually, they will take care of you financially while you fuck the hell out of them when they want your attention. In some situations, they may ask you to move in with them. Other times, they may just want regular companionship and will support your ventures in some capacity.
It’s an awesome arrangement for younger guys. Especially for those that are moderately in shape. Because if you’re older and you’re looking for a sugar mom, that’s kind of pathetic.
Plus, you’d have to aim low. I’m talking 85+, and they’d have to be wealthy. You better get used to eating out old pussy!
Interact with professional cam models
So maybe jerking off to a tube site feels too common. But you don’t want the trouble of meeting someone in real life and hoping that the two of you might hit it off. You may not even want a working professional or a sugar mom.
You may want to opt for something more personable than watching a tube site but safe and baggage-free like a cam site. Fortunately, there are many boner-inducing cam sites with a little something for everyone. Hop in bitch!
They are also extremely interactive. You can control a cam model’s sex toy. Or get on your own cam and show off your cock to them. You can even get private shows and purchase those shows for your own personal collection. Cam shows are getting more interactive all the time, making you feel less lonely in the process!
Satisfy your sexual desires on even if you’re single!
It would be awesome if you could snap your fingers and have the woman of your dreams materialize, give you the sex of your life, then disappear until you want them around again. But that’s not real life. That’s a fever dream after you’ve drank too much cough syrup.
If you’re single and want to get your fuck on, that can be hard to accomplish. But there are sites to help you get the job done. Until the day comes when you can fuck sexbots that look and feel like real hot broads, knowing how to navigate the wild pornographic seas of the Internet is a must!