How To Get Your Girlfriend Back

You know how the saying goes: “Nothing lasts forever” and “Change is the only constant”. That is true for everything in life, including relationships. But what if you’ve found that girl that you want to spend your “forever” with? What if you guys broke up, but you still can’t imagine your life without her? Should you just give up and move on, as everyone else is telling you?

The good thing is that there’s another saying that tells you to fight for what you believe in. If you don’t think it’s time to move on yet, if every cell in your body is screaming at you to get her back, then it’s no time to give up just yet. There is still some work to do, and you can still get your girlfriend back.

But how?

The Ultimate Guide to Getting Your Girlfriend Back

The first thing you should know is that this needs some serious work. It’s no magic, but what it’s going to take is a lot of psychology-talk and delving into human nature to understand the workings of the human mind and soul. You’ve hit a wall, and the only way you can get past it is through understanding where that wall came from, and what you can do to avoid running into again.

With that being said, let’s get right into it.

You can get your girl back, but the approach you take will be completely different depending on the scenario of the break up. Did she break up with you? Were you the one who broke it off? Is this the first time you break up, or did it happen before once or more? If you want to understand what the hell is going on, click here to read more about what the possibilities may be. If you want to understand in more detail the reasons for a breakup while getting to know yourself and your girl better, then this article is just for you.

We’ll divide this article into two main cases, one in which she broke up with you and the other is where you broke up. Beneath each case there will be different scenarios for how and why it happened.

Break Up Scenarios and What You Can Do in Each

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It all starts with understanding what went wrong.

Sometimes you might feel that it ended abruptly and you don’t have any idea what really went wrong. And if you’re reading this article, then you genuinely want to understand and make it right. So what exactly went wrong? At the end of your reflection, you might come to the conclusion that the breakup resulted from just more of one reason, or all of the reasons all put together. It’s critical to go through this reflective phase, even though you might be too hurting, angry, empty, or depressed to do that.

Perhaps we can help you with the reflection. We’ll get into details about each break up scenario, and what you can do in each of them.

Scenarios in Which She Broke Up

Scenario #1: She Doesn’t Feel Like You Love Her Anymore

While this is a very broad statement, it includes a lot of tiny details that build up into one big reason: She feels like you don’t love her anymore.

Is that true?

Scenario Breakdown

Women are creatures of emotions. They can feel when you’re being sincere, and when you’re just doing it out of obligation. What she means when she tells you that you don’t love anymore, is that you stopped putting effort and showing her you care like you used to do at the beginning.

What she means is that you stopped going out of your way to get her flowers, and making a small surprise for her. But don’t get her wrong, it’s not about the money, gifts, or materialistic things. It’s about expressing your emotions through actions, actions that all tell her that you love her just as much as you’ve always done. This scenario is similar to the ones where she’d say how you “don’t listen to her anymore”, or that “you’ve lost interest in her.”

What You Can Do to Make it Right

In this case, her breakup is more of a call for help. She’s trying to get your attention back, or she’s feeling like you’ve given up on her and so she decided to take matters into her own hands.

What you should do is to remember why you fell in love with her in the first place. Maybe you got too busy with work and life that you stopped putting effort, or you’ve started taking her for granted. But if your feelings are still there and you still care about her, you need to tell (and show) her that you still love her!

Scenario #2: She Said “She Doesn’t Like You Anymore”

This is a reverse scenario where she’s saying that she’s lost interest in you. So what can you do about it?

Scenario Breakdown

Women like men who are in control, men who’re able to understand how their very complicated, yet simple, mind works. They like to feel they’re taken care of, and when it comes down to them being irrational, they want to know that their man is capable of controlling their emotional tantrums and calming them down. If she tells you that she’s lost interest, it’s probably because she’s feeling that she’s more mature than you are, or that you don’t understand her very well.

What You Can Do to Make it Right

In this case, what you can do is to rise to the challenge. This is different than you become the “bad boy”. It’s about showing her that you can be a responsible and mature man who can take care of her. When you decide to contact her again to get back together, try to show her how you want to change. Take the time to listen to her more and understand what she thinks and feels.

Scenario #3: She Said that the Relationship is Holding Her Back

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In this scenario, your girl is trying to pursue a higher career or educational goals, and she feels you’re holding her back.

Scenario Breakdown

When she expressed her desire to explore the next level of her career, how did you react? Were you supportive of her? Did you try your best to cheer her on and have her back no matter what, or did you feel a little bit threatened? Did you feel indifferent about it?

If your girl is one of the strong ones, then for her career goals are critical for her welfare. If she’s feeling indifference or lack of support from you, then that’s a big red flag for her regarding this relationship.

What You Can Do to Make it Right

Healthy relationships are built in lifting each other up, not holding one another back. Maybe you didn’t realize how important this was for her, and maybe you thought there are more important things that she should focus on. Perhaps you felt that she’s become preoccupied with her work and isn’t giving enough to this relationship.

Whatever the reason was, at the end, it’s always about balancing between the needs of both of you so that you’re both contributing to the relationship equally. You need to show her that you support her in what’s important for her, because you love her. If you feel she’s preoccupied, then instead of discouraging her, maybe you can discuss with her how you’re feeling. That way, she can take better care and fix the issue, while understanding the reasons behind your own dissatisfaction.

Scenario #4: She Moved Away

This is all about what long distance can do to your relationship.

Scenario Breakdown

Sometimes, moving into a new town gives you the exciting feeling of wanting to start a new life. This comes with the feeling that perhaps it’s time to let the past be gone and look for new opportunities. Even more, maintaining a long distance relationship can be difficult to squeeze in without the comfort of the close proximity you’ve always used to have.

What You Can Do to Make it Right

In this case, you should show her why you are The One. Why, no matter how many people she might meet, you’re the one who understands her the most, who goes out of his way to make her happy, and the shoulder she can always lean on no matter what. In spite of the separating miles, if you’re the one who constantly makes her heart beating with love and joy, the long distance will make her miss you even more.

Scenarios in Which You Initiated the Break-Up

Scenario #1: You Need Your Space.

You’re tired of the fights and you just need some peace of mind, so you broke up with her to get some space… but now, you’re starting to regret it.

Scenario Breakdown

Constantly fighting is surely exhausting, and it drained off all of your energy that you’ve become too stressed and frustrated. That pushed you into a corner where you thought that your only out is to push her away. But now that you’ve calmed down, you realized that’s not what you meant to do, you only needed to breathe.

What You Can Do to Make it Right

While it’s bad for her because you’re the one who broke up, you should still try to explain to her what you were going through and apologize for breaking up. Next, you need to communicate with the reasons that your energy became so drained that you couldn’t handle it any longer, and talk it out together until you can reach a middle ground.

Scenario #2: You Feel She’s Too Clingy.

Did you feel she’s always hovering over you and she’s way too clingy?

Scenario Breakdown

In this case, you feel like she wants you for herself 24/7. You can’t hang out with the boys or work extra shifts at work, or even spend some alone time playing video games without her starting a fight.

What You Can Do to Make it Right

While you can obviously see that she loves you, but being too obsessive is no way for a healthy relationship to be. You need to be honest with her about this in a way that doesn’t sound too harsh. Maybe you can talk to her about finding her own passion and investing her time in something that makes her feel alive. That way you’ll also be guiding her into a better life for her.

Scenario #3: You Feel She’s Too Stubborn

Having a stubborn girl might give you the impression that she doesn’t respect your word, but that’s not the case usually.
Scenario Breakdown

If your girl is stubborn, and no matter what you say it seems like she has to do it her own way, then that doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect you. It just means she needs to find her own way of doing things, which doesn’t have to be the same as yours.

What You Can Do to Make it Right

While oftentimes it’s extremely frustrating, you should be proud of her for trying to figure out her own way in the world. Your role is to give her advice and let her go on her way, and when she falls into the pit you’ve warned her about, to give her a shoulder to lean on for support. Eventually she’ll realize your wisdom and take your word for it, but she might need to figure it out on her own sometimes. And that’s okay.

Scenario #4: You Want To Feel the Thrill Again

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Did you feel your relationship had become so repetitive and you just wanted to feel some thrill again?

Scenario Breakdown

Beginnings are so beautiful and full of magic. After a certain while, you find that all of the magic is gone. You look forward to feeling the same excitement all over again, so you might have thought that the way to feel alive again is through looking for some new adventure. But who said that you can’t have new adventures with the same person?

What You Can Do to Make it Right

This is something that every couple has to go through in their relationships. At a certain point, you get to realize that “falling in love” is completely different than “loving someone” and committing to a lifetime together. Your relationship has become boring, not because you’re with the wrong person, but because you guys have stopped taking care of it. All you need is to revive it and find new ways to reignite the flames of adventure in your love.

Getting Your Girl Back

No matter how beautiful and peaceful it is, we often find ourselves hitting a wall in our relationship. We’re then faced with a decision to make, to either walk away and move on, or to get back and fight for it. Whenever you choose the road of fighting for it, you’ll find yourself unraveling some truths that you haven’t noticed the first time around. To make it through, you’ll need honest and vulnerable communication on both of your behalves. It will take some work and a sincere will to change for the better, but once you do, your love will be stronger than ever before.




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It's a little lonely being one of the two female writers here, but I do my best! You'll find me covering everything from relationships to the newest gadget I'm excited about.

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