How to Become the Gray Man: The Ultimate Guide

There is a lot of discussion in the prepper community about what it takes to become the gray man. Some people seem to think that you must wear all black all the time or go around with a blank facial expression so that no one will notice you. But being the gray man isn’t about blending in so much as it is about not standing out. In other words, you want to be unremarkable enough that people won’t bother paying attention to you.


Have you ever wanted to disappear into a crowd? To be so average and unassuming that no one gives you a second glance? Well, there is an art to becoming the “Gray Man” – and it could come in handy if you ever find yourself in a precarious situation.

The Gray Man is someone who can blend into any environment and go unnoticed. They are the ultimate chameleons, adapting their appearance and behavior to match their surroundings. They are not trying to draw attention to themselves and not carrying anything that would make them stand out – such as weapons, flashy accessories, or unusual clothing.

Becoming the Gray Man is not about being someone else; it’s about being the best version of yourself. It’s about honing your skills and appearance so you can be unremarkable.

So, how do you become the Gray Man? Read on to find out…

What is the Gray Man?

How to Become the Gray Man

In its simplest form, the Gray Man is someone who can move through society without raising suspicion or attracting attention. He (or she) blends in. He is the everyman.

The Gray Man concept originated with the military, specifically the CIA’s Special Activities Division which is responsible for covert operations. The thinking was that it was easier to accomplish missions if the operatives were not easily identified.

Preppers and Survivalists have since adopted the idea as a way to move through an Urban environment undetected and unnoticed. The thinking is that in an SHTF scenario, the last thing you want is to be identified as a Prepared individual because you will be a target. Better to blend in and escape notice.

There are several ways to become the Gray Man, but they all boil down to four things:

  1. Dress like everyone else around you. If you’re in a suit and tie, dress in a suit and tie. If you’re in jeans and a t-shirt, dress in jeans and a t-shirt. The goal is to not stand out by what you’re wearing.
  2. Act like everyone else around you. This means adopting the mannerisms, speech patterns, etc., of those around you. If you’re around loud and boisterous people, then be loud and boisterous. If they’re more subdued, then be more subdued. Again, the goal is to not stand out by how you act.
  3. Don’t do anything that would call attention to yourself. This one can be difficult because it requires awareness of your surroundings and knowing what would or would not call attention to yourself in that situation. For example, if you’re walking down the street and see a group of people coming toward you, it would be best not to pull out your knife and start sharpening it (I’ve seen this happen). Or if you’re sitting in a coffee shop working on your laptop and someone comes up and starts talking to you about what you’re doing, it might be best not to tell them that you’re tracking their every move with surveillance equipment so you can kill them later (again, I’ve seen this happen). Basically, use common sense and don’t do anything that would make people take notice of you more than they otherwise would.
  4. Have an excuse for everything. This ties into the previous point but goes one step further: not only should you avoid doing anything that would call attention to yourself, but you should also have an explanation for why you’re doing whatever it is that people might notice. For example, if someone sees you pull out a knife and start sharpening it (see point 3), your excuse could be that your pencil broke and needed sharpening or that your friend bet you couldn’t sharpen your knife faster than he could sharpen his pencil (again, I’ve seen this happen). The key here is to have a believable explanation ready so that even if people do take notice of what you’re doing, they won’t think twice about it because they know there’s a perfectly good explanation for it

The Benefits of Being the Gray Man

grey man blending into a crowd

The “Gray Man” is an individual who can blend in with their surroundings and go unnoticed. This person is someone who has the ability to dress and act in a way that does not draw attention to themselves.

Dale Carnegie developed the Gray Man concept in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Carnegie argued that the best way to influence people was to blend in and not be seen as a threat. The idea is that if you are not noticed, you will not be targeted.

The Gray Man philosophy has been adopted by military and law enforcement units to help their personnel operate covertly. The term has also recently been used in business, politics, and even dating!

So why would someone want to become the Gray Man? Many benefits come with being able to blend into your surroundings:

  1. You will be less likely to be targeted by criminals or predators. You are much less likely to be attacked if you are not seen as a potential victim.
  2. You will have an easier time getting jobs and promotions. Employers looking for new hires often want someone who will fit in with their existing team and not cause any waves. If you can show that you are the type of person who can go unnoticed, you will be more likely to get hired.
  3. You will be able to move through life with less stress. It can be very stressful when you are constantly being watched or noticed. If you can learn how to fade into the background, you will be able to relax more and enjoy your life.
  4. You will be better equipped to deal with difficult situations. If you find yourself in a dangerous or unpredictable situation, staying calm and going unnoticed can help you get out safely.
  5. You will have more opportunities for success. When people decide who to help or give opportunities to, they often choose those they believe will make the most of them. If you can show that you are reliable and capable of blending into any situation, you will have a better chance of being chosen for opportunities that come your way.

Becoming the Gray Man is not about being invisible; it is about learning how to control your presence so that you are only noticed when it is advantageous. It is a skill that takes practice, but it is well worth the effort if you want to live a happier and more successful life!

Steps to Becoming the Gray Man

To become the Gray Man, you will need to do the following:

1. Change your appearance.

The first step to becoming the Gray Man is to change your appearance. You must dress in neutral colors and avoid standing out in a crowd. You should also keep your hair cut short and tidy.

2. Avoid social media and other forms of electronic communication.

To stay off the radar, you must avoid electronic communication as much as possible. This means no social media, no email, and no texting.

3. Be polite and respectful at all times.

When you are interacting with people, it is important that you be polite and respectful at all times. This will help you blend in and avoid drawing attention to yourself.

4. Learn new skills that will help you blend in.

To truly become the Gray Man, you will need to learn new skills that will help you blend into any situation. Some skills that may be useful include learning a new language, taking up a new hobby, or learning how to play a musical instrument.


The gray man is an ordinary person who can blend in with his or her surroundings. The ability to become the gray man is valuable in many situations, such as when traveling in unfamiliar or dangerous areas or working undercover.

There is no one specific way to become the gray man. Instead, it is a set of skills and behaviors that anyone can learn. Some of the most important things to remember are to avoid standing out, to be aware of your surroundings, and to be prepared for anything.

Anyone can learn how to become the gray man with a little practice.



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I'm a co-founder and writer here at Unfinished Man. I write, manage the look and feel of the website, and make sure that nothing breaks. I also reply to the vast majority of our emails, so if you're sending one through, I suggest you be nice. Everyone says I'm the least offensive of our writers, so they gave the email jockey task to me. When I'm not improving the site, I write about fashion, video games, politics, and anything related to science and technology.

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