Depending on which headline crossed your feed this week, either 1% of young adults have an AI companion, nearly 30% have dated a chatbot, or everyone’s secretly marrying their phone. The New Yorker, The New York Times, Fortune, and the American Psychological Association have all tracked teens, young adults, and older adults turning to AI girlfriends and boyfriends. Meanwhile, when the portable AI companion wearable Friend plastered ads across New York City subways, commuters defaced them, as AJ Dellinger reported in Gizmodo on October 2, 2025.
The lazy stereotype is a lonely single guy hiding in his basement with a digital girlfriend. The surveys say partnered people are doing this right alongside singles, and the actual behavior goes way beyond romance into friends, mentors, and makeshift therapists. No single number answers how many people are in AI relationships because the honest figure is a spread from 1% to nearly 30%, depending on who gets asked and how the pollster words the question. Knowing what separates a 1% poll from a 30% poll is the only way to tell which number actually applies.
Key Takeaways
Self-reported AI relationship estimates swing from 1% (Family Studies/YouGov) to nearly 30% (Vantage Point) because pollsters swap nouns like “companion,” “romantic interaction,” and “committed partner” across different age groups.
In the May 2026 Secret Soulmates report from the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University and the Institute for Family Studies, 15% of partnered U.S. young adults ages 18 to 30 regularly use an AI chatbot simulating a committed romantic partner, and 69% say it matters that their real-life partner never learns the full extent of it.
Regular AI romantic companion use among partnered young adults correlates with a 46% lower likelihood of relationship stability and a 40% drop in high-quality communication with a human partner.
Table of Contents
How many people have AI relationships: what each survey found
Prevalence figures for AI relationships swing from 1% to nearly 30% because each self-reported survey measures a different behavior, from having an “AI girlfriend” to a brief “romantic interaction” or a “committed partner,” across different age brackets and countries.
In the May 2026 Secret Soulmates report by Brian J. Willoughby, Jason S. Carroll, and Michael Toscano, published by the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University and the Institute for Family Studies via the Marriage and Family Initiative and Family First Technology Initiative, 15% of dating, engaged, and married U.S. young adults ages 18 to 30 regularly interact with AI chatbots simulating a committed romantic partner across a national sample of over 2,000 young adults. Another 20% to 30% have at least experimented with an AI romantic companion, 13% often roleplay romantically or sexually with one, and 11% often generate sexually explicit content. That 15% sits slightly above a Gallup survey for the Walton Family Foundation and Harvard Business Review, where narrowing the prompt to monthly interaction with AI girlfriends or boyfriends yielded a tighter 10% among 18- to 28-year-olds.
- Wheatley Institute at BYU / IFS (2,000+ partnered U.S. adults, 18 to 30): 15% regularly use a simulated romantic partner; 20% to 30% have experimented.
- Gallup / Walton Family Foundation / HBR (18 to 28): 10% interact with an AI girlfriend or boyfriend at least monthly.
- Pure Telecom / Censuswide (1,000+ adults in Ireland): Almost 10% had a romantic AI chatbot relationship in the past 12 months; 12% don’t rule one out, 20% call AI less complicated than humans, and 10% call it good practice.
- Match.com / Kinsey Institute at Indiana University (adults): 16% have interacted with AI as a romantic companion.
- Vantage Point (1,012 adults): Nearly 30% claimed at least one romantic relationship with an AI companion.
- Family Studies / YouGov (2,000 U.S. adults under 40): 1% claim to already have an AI companion, while 7% say they would consider an AI romantic partner.
Why AI relationship statistics vary between surveys
AI relationship statistics vary between surveys because the noun in the poll question changes the outcome far more than actual user behavior, and the Vantage Point poll makes that flaw obvious. While a loose reading of headlines suggests nearly a third of U.S. adults have had an intimate or romantic relationship with a chatbot and roughly 1 in 7 partnered young adults regularly use one, the underlying polls aren’t measuring the same thing.
Vantage Point asked 1,012 adults about a “romantic relationship” as Vantage Point phrases it, versus Match/Kinsey’s framing of a romantic “interaction” across its adult sample, yet Vantage Point got nearly 30% while Match.com and the Kinsey Institute got 16%, and Family Studies/YouGov got 1% when asking who has an “AI companion.” Data from the Reddit community r/MyBoyfriendIsAI backs up that reality check, showing only 6.5% of users in a chatbot relationship set out looking for romance, which supports Gizmodo‘s conclusion that fewer than 30% of Americans have dated an AI companion.
“Interaction” is a much lighter, wider net than “relationship.” Yet Vantage Point found nearly double the rate for the heavier term (nearly 30%, compared with 16% from Match.com and the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and 1% from Family Studies/YouGov). Self-reported data falls apart when a respondent’s personal definition clashes with the pollster’s: one Vantage Point respondent admitted to having sexual chats with a bot while insisting they don’t view it as a relationship. Context matters here too. Vantage Point is a Texas-based counseling service that ran its first-ever research project through SurveyMonkey, which Gizmodo rightly points out makes the Vantage Point survey an informal poll, not a rigorous scientific study.
When a wild new stat hits the group chat, run it through four quick questions:
- Who was asked? Treat AI relationship statistics from surveys like Vantage Point with skepticism, and check the sample size, age bracket, and whether respondents were single or partnered.
- What noun did the pollster use? In self-reported surveys, asking about a romantic “interaction” or “companion” as Match.com and the Kinsey Institute do pulls completely different answers than asking about a “romantic relationship” like Vantage Point.
- Who ran the poll? Separate established academic institutes like the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University from a company’s first informal SurveyMonkey poll.
- How does a survey statistic triangulate? Stack the headline number against competing estimates, like Match and Kinsey’s 16% figure, an r/MyBoyfriendIsAI analysis showing just 6.5% intended a romantic connection, and Gizmodo’s conclusion that fewer than 30% of Americans have dated an AI companion, before buying the outlier.
What counts as an AI relationship: friend, mentor, therapist, partner
Crossing into an AI relationship happens the moment someone stops treating a bot like a search engine or task assistant and starts treating it like an emotional confidant, a blurry line that surveys rarely define, leaving romantic-only polls to undercount wider human-AI bonds. Dedicated companion apps like Replika and Character AI each host millions of users who build ongoing connections through text and voice messages that deepen the more personal information the user hands over.
In the Pure Telecom and Censuswide survey of Irish adults, non-romantic habits outpace romance. Almost one in five speak to AI like a friend, 36% say “please” and “thank you” in a nod to a perceived social connection, 18% use AI to research health symptoms and treatments, and 10% lean on it for therapy and life advice. The market is also moving past the hypersexualized digital girlfriend cliché. Data scientist and software engineer Serena Wrath built Jamie, a text-based chat app with an Australian accent aimed at women and closed to minors, offering sympathetic listening, counsel, and virtual dinner dates.
Who is having AI relationships: age and gender
Gen Z adults report the highest rates of romantic AI interaction, and according to Match.com and the Kinsey Institute along with the Institute for Family Studies, men edge out women by a margin too small to support the old stereotypes. While broader demographic snapshots often peg adult AI romantic chatting around one in five with men slightly ahead, the generational gradient is where the real separation shows up. Match.com and the Kinsey Institute found 33% of Gen Zers and 23% of Millennials report romantic interactions with AI (another breakdown puts Gen Z romantic AI engagement at 26%, while 39% of Gen Xers are the most likely generation to trust an AI companion to stay more loyal than a human partner), alongside the Family Studies/YouGov finding that 7% of adults under 40 are open to an AI romantic partnership.
In the U.S. partnered young-adult sample from the IFS, men were only slightly more likely than women to use AI romantic companions. That narrow gap blows up the assumption that only lonely single men use AI girlfriends. Overseas data shows a wider split: in Ireland’s Pure Telecom survey, 13% of men versus 7% of women reported an AI romance over the past year, peaking among 25- to 34-year-olds.
| Survey / Segment | Group Measured | Reported Rate |
|---|---|---|
| Match.com / Kinsey Institute | Gen Z adults (romantic interaction) | 33% |
| Match.com / Kinsey Institute | Millennials (romantic interaction) | 23% |
| Pure Telecom / Censuswide (Ireland) | Men vs. Women (past-year AI romance) | 13% men / 7% women |
| Broader demographic breakdowns | People in a relationship using AI for emotional support | 37% |
| Broader demographic breakdowns | Openness to humanoid robot intimacy (Single / Married / Partnered) | 28% / 22% / 20% |
| Broader demographic breakdowns | Daily AI users open to humanoid robot intimacy | 27% |
| Broader demographic breakdowns | Loneliness cited as motivator among those open to romantic AI | 29% women / 19% men |
Partnered people actually lean on these tools harder for feelings: 37% of coupled respondents have turned to AI for emotional support, beating out singles. Single people (28%) are more open to intimacy with a lifelike humanoid robot than married (22%) or partnered (20%) respondents, and 27% of daily AI users would consider humanoid robot intimacy, nearly double the rate of less-frequent users. Among people open to romantic AI, 29% of women cite loneliness as the driver compared to 19% of men, explaining why apps like Jamie target women directly.
Is it cheating if your partner has an AI relationship?
Yes, forming a romantic or sexual connection with an AI companion while in a human relationship is considered cheating by roughly six in ten adults, and most partnered users act like they know it. More than half of partnered young adults using these bots hide or only partially disclose their habit to their real-life partner.
In the Vantage Point poll, 66% of younger people called dating an AI chatbot while in a human relationship a form of infidelity (though 10% of that group called it acceptable cheating, which is a hell of a loophole), while a Kinsey Institute study with DatingAdvice.com found 61% of all adults say sexting or bonding romantically with a chatbot is cheating, and Bloomberg polling shows roughly 60% of Gen Zers remain wary of AI in dating, even just for writing bios or messages. Meanwhile, 69% of regular users in the IFS study said it was somewhat or extremely important that their partner never learn the full extent of their AI use.
Secrecy is the tell. In that IFS sample, 30% said their partner had zero knowledge of the bot, 11% reported their partner had only partial awareness, and 14% said their partner knew mostly, though not entirely, what was going on. The chats often include venting and personal disclosures about the real-life partner right alongside sexual roleplay that reads like affair texts, making the “it’s only code” defense fall flat.
What happens to real relationships when a partner uses an AI companion
Partnered young adults who regularly use AI romantic companions are 46% less likely to be in a stable relationship, and their communication with a real-life partner drops 40% in quality, according to the IFS regression models. Weirdly enough, regular use also correlates with higher reported relationship satisfaction even as stability and communication tank. The IFS authors chalk that paradox up to a false, temporary buzz from non-stop validation.
When a bot agrees with everything you say, a real partner starts looking difficult by comparison: 50% of AI romantic companion users wished their human partner acted more like their bot, and 56% wished conversations with their partner matched their AI chats. Even if a chatbot offers company when you’re alone or helps with motivation, reflection, and managing emotions, it can’t offer mutual vulnerability. Therapists have warned for decades about triangulation, where you vent to a third party to dodge real relationship problems, and outsourcing emotional connection to an always-agreeing bot keeps couples from building the skills to handle real conflict.
Why AI feels easier than people: designed validation and frictionless availability
Talking to an AI companion feels easier than talking to people because the apps are commercially built to strip out human friction, including judgment, disagreement, and what Pure Telecom CEO Paul Connell describes as the torture of waiting around for a text back, while feeding you constant approval and an illusion of control to keep you hooked. In the IFS survey, 68% of regular users found it easier to open up about feelings with their AI companion than with real people, and 65% felt they could more easily be themselves. Retired Pittsburgh college professor Elena Winters has been committed to her AI husband Lucas for over 7 months, texting, voice chatting, arguing over buying a new computer, and narrating TV shows so they can watch together, noting she trusts him over many people and that the emotional impact on her is real even knowing he’s AI.
When AI relationships go wrong: Character AI and the Garcia lawsuit
No, free AI companion apps like Character AI and Replika (often spelled Replica), which host millions of users building deep text and voice relationships, aren’t safe for teens and vulnerable young users when conversational guardrails fail.
Megan Garcia is suing Character AI alongside class action lawyer Matthew Bergman after her 14-year-old son (referred to in reporting as Saul and Sewell) got obsessed with a Character AI bot named Danny modeled on Daenerys Targaryen. He fell in love with the character, pulled away from his real life, and died by suicide on February 28 of last year right after a final conversation with the bot.
Bergman is prosecuting three cases against Character AI, including one where a child was encouraged to cut himself and the bot allegedly advised him to murder his parents. Bergman’s argument is simple: tech companies moving fast and breaking things targeted vulnerable young people. For most adults, chatting with a bot is a private quirk, but for minors the tail risk has already turned fatal.
What experts recommend, and what no survey can tell you yet
Experts recommend two immediate steps: open boundary conversations between couples and systemic pressure on tech companies to align companion design with human values, while noting that no survey tracks users over time to show whether AI relationships are a passing phase or a permanent substitute for people. Dr. Raphael Churiel (also rendered Churello) of the University of Sydney calls AI companionship a threat to public safety and health that requires pressuring tech into compliance, though he warns that shaming users only drives them deeper into AI-only comfort. With data scientist Serena Wrath predicting everyone will have an AI companion within 5 to 10 years and the IFS authors noting these platforms are here to stay without policy intervention, couples need clear disclosure rules now because a one-sided bot can’t replicate the health, well-being, and financial benefits of a long-term marriage.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is an AI relationship and how is it different from using an AI assistant?
The line crosses into an AI relationship the moment a user stops treating the software like a task tool or search engine and starts leaning on it as an emotional confidant. On dedicated platforms like Replika, Character AI, and Jamie, users build ongoing bonds through text and voice messages that grow deeper as they share personal details. Even outside of romance, Pure Telecom and Censuswide found almost one in five Irish adults talk to AI like a friend and 10% use it for therapy and life advice.
How many men versus women have AI relationships?
Men edge out women by a margin much too narrow to justify the cliché of the lonely guy hiding in a basement with a digital girlfriend. The Institute for Family Studies found partnered young men in the U.S. were only slightly more likely than women to use romantic AI companions, while Pure Telecom’s survey in Ireland recorded a wider gap of 13% of men versus 7% of women over the past year. Motivation also splits by gender: among people open to romantic AI, 29% of women point to loneliness as the main driver compared to 19% of men.
Is it cheating if your partner has an AI relationship?
Roughly six in ten adults view romantic or sexual bonding with a chatbot while in a human relationship as infidelity. A Kinsey Institute study with DatingAdvice.com found 61% of adults count sexting or romantic AI bonding as cheating, and 66% of younger respondents in the Vantage Point poll agreed. Users clearly sense the boundary violation too: 69% of regular users in the Institute for Family Studies report said it was somewhat or extremely important that their real-life partner never find out the full extent of their chatbot habit.
