First impressions matter and first dates are tricky. You want to impress her, but you don’t want to appear desperate or come on too strong.
A recent survey showed:
- Over 66 percent of men said that their biggest complaint on first dates was that “she was boring”
- A primary deal breaker was the appearance in 33 percent of online dates
- While dates organized through social circles showed that 11 percent were turned off by what the person looked like
Dating websites and apps make getting a first date easy, but it’s not nearly as easy to make a great first impression. If you find yourself having too many first dates and can’t seem to get to the second, below are a few suggestions to help you get to the next step.
Share More of Yourself
There’s just so much time you can spend asking and answering questions like “What do you do?” and “Where are you from?” Besides, most people have already covered this territory before the first date, either on a dating site or on the phone. Instead, find out what interests you have in common and talk more about those similarities.
Ask some personal and probing questions—within reason—to get to know her better and to show more about yourself. Don’t be afraid to delve a little deeper and talk about things that are close to your heart. If she is turned off by this or seems uncomfortable, she might not be the right person to take on a second date. After all, you want to be with someone who is willing to share parts of herself with a partner. However, you don’t want to only talk about personal and heavy topics. Keep parts of the conversation light and funny. It’s a delicate balancing act.
Make Her Feel Special
No one wants to feel like just another one of a long line of first dates, even if they are. You should turn your phone off and give her your full attention without distractions.
Offer to send a car service to pick her up so she can enjoy a glass or two of wine and not worry about driving herself home. But she probably won’t want you to know where she lives before your first date; however, you don’t have to worry about that. You can call ahead, pay with a credit card, and have the service call her to make the arrangements. This way only the driver will know her address.
Most people meet for their first date at a bar for a drink, a coffee shop for some java, or a restaurant for a meal. If you want to make a better impression think of something else to do, such as:
- Talking a walk in the park
- Going roller or ice skating
- Playing miniature golf
- Attending a street fair
- Visiting a zoo or museum
- Doing an escape room
Don’t Drink Too Much
If you do go someplace that has alcohol, don’t overdo it. It’s normal to be nervous on a first date. However, don’t give in by having too much to drink. You don’t want your date to think you have a drinking problem or rely on alcohol to have a good time. Many people act silly when drunk and can end up looking foolish. Be in control.
Try to Assess How Things are Going Realistically
Both parties need to want to have a second date for it to be successful. Pay attention to how things are going on the first. You can learn a lot from non-verbal cues and body language. If you bring up a topic that appears to make your date uncomfortable or she seems disinterested, change the subject. If you are having a good time and enjoying her company, and it is apparent that she is too, make sure you make it known.
Follow up but Don’t Overdo It
If you had a great first date and got good vibes from it, let her know. There is nothing wrong with sending a text message that evening or the next day. Tell her it was really nice meeting her and you hope to see her again soon. Remember, you don’t want to appear too anxious or clingy. Don’t text all day long or push to see her again immediately. Respect her boundaries while letting her know that you’re open to planning a second date.
Whether you have been on one or 20 first dates, if you feel a connection, going on a second date is your goal. Why not try some of the tips mentioned above to help you get there?