We’ve all experienced it: the dreaded fight with your significant other. Maybe it was over something truly dumb like who was going to take the garbage out. Perhaps it was something more serious like one of you getting upset after seeing the other one talking to someone at a bar or a party. No matter what caused the tiff or explosion, the hours and days after an argument can be awkward at best. Here’s how to smooth things over, make up, and move on.
Let Things Calm Down
When emotions are running high, the worst thing you can do is open your mouth. The result is often hurtful words and name-calling thrown out at a time when you or you S.O. are feeling desperate, hurt, and angry. Let things calm down so both of you can take a deep breath and regain perspective.
Talk It Out
Once the dust has settled, it’s important to talk about what happened. As you talk, focus on how certain things make you FEEL rather than leveling accusations at the other person. (“When I’m the only one who cleans up the apartment, it makes me feel unappreciated and hurt” rather than “You’re a slob who never takes out the garbage or washes a dish.”) Think hard about why something may have affected you or your S.O. in a specific way. It may be that the reaction was normal and expected or it may be that it was an overblown reaction triggered by something you’ve experienced in the past.
Touching and Hugs Are Awesome
Physical contact helps release endorphins that make us feel great, which is why humans value it so much. As you talk, holding hands, touching, and hugging will help you feel more calm and closer. After you make up, moving on to “other” types of physical contact (hello, makeup sex!) can help bring you even closer and clear the air after even the nastiest of fights.
