Snuggie Sutra: The Best of Both Worlds

You may have heard of a terrible reinvention of the blanket- it’s called the Snuggie, and lazy, couch ridden slobs everywhere love it. Have you ever wanted to be able to have sex without leaving the comfort of your ratty Green Bay Packers fleece? No problem- check out the Snuggie Sutra and enjoy the best a piece of fabric with a couple of holes in it has to offer. Here our some of our favorites:

Snuggie Sex Positions
The Warm and Snuggie: You both get in the Snuggie together. The Snuggie can go either way, maybe you can convince her to do the same.
Snuggie Sex Positions
The Tablecloth: She lies on the table. He wears the Snuggie on his front while the bottom end covers her. It's just not a holiday without stuffing.
Go The Fuck To Sleep By Adam Mansbach

Go The Fuck To Sleep, By Adam Mansbach – A Children’s… Picture book?

Go The Fuck To Sleep By Adam Mansbach

When I was a child, my parents would read me books to help me fall asleep. I think that most of the time they would simply make the stories up to spare their tired eyes from having to read another page, but I think that most of the stories were at least *based* on the books they were holding at the time. Now, it’s been a long time since I’ve read a children’s book, or looked at a picture book of any kind, but I can say with absolute certainty that as a child, I never read a book like this.

Go The Fuck To Sleep, By Adam Mansbach, is a children’s picture book that went viral and climbed the charts of the Amazon best sellers list. This is remarkable for two reasons. The first is that the book isn’t even out yet, and the second is that this happened because of piracy. Yes, I’m sure you can appreciate the great irony of that last point. People sharing a book for free… resulted in… massive sales? Amazing.

qualcomm ces2013 keynote

Generation M – Qualcomm’s Hilariously Terrible CES 2013 Keynote

You may find this hard to believe, but when it comes to describing this years Qualcomm’s CES keynote, I’m at an almost complete loss for words. I’ve been sitting here frantically trying to string together something that does the clip justice, but I’ve realized something… it’s almost impossible. It’s the type of video that’s so bad you have to see it to believe it.

Let me repeat once more, this is going to be painful. If you manage to make it past the 25 second mark, then you’ll be in the big leagues of internet badassery for surviving, mind intact – or not intact, as is more likely the case – the monstrosity that is this keynote.

Crying Like You Have Never Heard

Well, some of you guys might have seen this circulating around by now. I just thought I would share this with the people who have not already seen. I know it’s a bit mean to be enjoying watching this but there is a lesson to be learned. If you are going to be crying, make sure there are no cameras to record it. Otherwise, you will go viral. See below.

Aroldis Chapman Throws 105 MPH Pitches

Aroldis Chapman throwing a pitch
©JockPost.com

The 22 year old southpaw with a killer arm is being called up by Cincinnati for September, with the intent to unleash him during a drive to the playoffs. We’ve heard of a lot of young sports stars getting their shot at the big leagues, but what makes Aroldis so special is his ability to throw a 105 MPH pitch- combine that with his decidedly limited experience in the majors, and it means that he’s got a hell of a gun that no one has ever seen before. It also means that he could buckle under the pressure or his arm could detach and fly into the stands or something, but we prefer to remain optimistic.

lego man standing in front of a wall of skulls

The Brick Testament – The Bible Explained in Lego

lego angels fight lego dragon in heaven with guns
The angels drive out Lucifer with.... assault rifles?

The bible is one of those things that stirs up a lot of mixed feelings amongst our readership; regardless of this, it’s safe to say that no matter what you believe in, there are some pretty damn great stories in the good book. Being able to produce endless amounts of free booze, horrific monsters, cataclysmic disasters- it’s got everything you’d want in a multi-billion dollar summer blockbuster. Rather than arguing over what’s theologically sound, we’d rather just enjoy the hilariously vengeful side of God, as offered in gloriously detailed plastic by The Brick Testament. Check out some of these pretty ridiculous, tongue in cheek illustrations of biblical scenes after the jump.

Charlie Brooker Reads a Newspaper

Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe – From Hacking Scandals to Reality Television

Charlie Brooker is one of my favorite journalists. I’m always thrilled when I have an opportunity to write about his often comical, and always truthful perspective on reality. Recently, Charlie did a sort of year in review for 2011, and in typical Charlie Brooker fashion, he makes an absolute mockery of the sad state of global affairs in 2011. Charlie talks about everything from reality television to the “capture and compromise to a permanent end” of Osama Bin Laden.

Yes, this video is just just shy of 1 hour, but I promise you that