Humor

Until recently, I had no idea that the fantasy genre was so littered with anthropomorphic novels featuring telepathic cats who have sex with Lesbians. This illusion was shattered as I walked through the science fiction and fantasy section of my local bookstore. One book became the catalyst on my quest to find the very worst novels that the cat fantasy genre has to offer.

It’s really quite amazing what people are not only willing, but thrilled to write about. As you’re about to see in a moment, the results can be

I used to watch a lot of Captain Planet. I’m not actually sure why, as he had a mullet and made bad puns and hung out with a lot of ineffectual kids in his pajamas, but I guess the underlying message was a good one so it makes up for my poor judgement. When you compared Captain Planet to everything else that was going on- Ninja Turtles, Transformers, GI Joe, X-Men, Batman The Animated Series (my god did we ever have it good growing up)- it was a pretty wussy show all around. Captain Planet had the makings of a finished man, so don’t get me wrong, and environmental stewardship is super important, but dammit… overall, he just sucked. Luckily, Funny or Die has re-imagined Captain Planet as the hardcore envirogangsta he should have always been, with the help of the brilliant Don Cheadle. The power is yours, bitches.

When I was a child, my parents would read me books to help me fall asleep. I think that most of the time they would simply make the stories up to spare their tired eyes from having to read another page, but I think that most of the stories were at least *based* on the books they were holding at the time. Now, it’s been a long time since I’ve read a children’s book, or looked at a picture book of any kind, but I can say with absolute certainty that as a child, I never read a book like this.

Go The Fuck To Sleep, By Adam Mansbach, is a children’s picture book that went viral and climbed the charts of the Amazon best sellers list. This is remarkable for two reasons. The first is that the book isn’t even out yet, and the second is that this happened because of piracy. Yes, I’m sure you can appreciate the great irony of that last point. People sharing a book for free… resulted in… massive sales? Amazing.