Even when getting divorced is the right decision, it’s never easy. Whether you initiated the divorce or are reeling in heartbreak, you’ve just entered a new life phase that will take some adjusting.
The long-term commitment two people made isn’t the only thing being dissolved. There are legal implications over who keeps what property and assets and parental rights to sort out if there are children involved. While you’re still getting settled, here are a few behaviors recently divorced people should avoid.
1. Using Court to Mete Out Revenge
Sometimes, bitter divorcees will weaponize the court system to punish and cause pain to their ex-partner. Maybe one side has more money and knows they have a much greater ability to weather a long and protracted divorce settlement in court.
To be sure, divorces can stir up intense emotions, some of them negative. Relationships are complicated, and people inevitably have strong feelings when they end. But a clean break is always best for both parties, even if it doesn’t always feel that way at the time.
If something has transpired that makes it difficult to respect or admire the other party, at least move on cleanly and quickly for your sake. Hiring a holistic lawyer will help when dealing with family disputes because they work with empathy and professionalism to get the best overall outcome for you and your children.
Protracted, expensive court battles can damage relationships and your children’s overall welfare, and they consider this when advocating for your legal rights.
2. Unhealthy Habits
Newly divorced people may feel bad for themselves and rush into less-than-healthy habits. It’s understandable! Anybody could sympathize, but that doesn’t mean it’s the optimal way to behave.
Don’t consume too much alcohol, recreational drugs, or unhealthy food. Try to stay balanced and partake in your ordinary, healthy routines.
Some people go in the other direction and plunge themselves into intense fitness and dietary regimens or buy a cute and expensive sports car to signal they’re back on the dating market. It’s hard to scold people for responding imperfectly to a major life change, and nobody is 100% healthy all the time.
Ideally, take some time to gather yourself rather than rush into a drastically new lifestyle.
3. Never Too Busy or Unavailable for Your Kids
You may be experiencing difficulties after your divorce, but you’re not alone. Your kids are no doubt adjusting to a very different lifestyle, one where they see their parents less.
Every divorced parent knows it’s harder for the kids to experience, even if they’re teenagers. You no doubt want to be there as much as possible, but feelings of depression or guilt may make social situations more challenging.
Families need to stay together, especially when times are tough. You may be separating from your partner, but spend as much time as you can with your children. It’ll make them feel better, and you as well.
You may feel suddenly startled or alone in this very new and different phase of your life. Keep the above in mind. It’ll help you move on sooner than you may think possible.