So your wife cheated on you. Now what? To understand if you can save your marriage, or whether it’s worth saving at all, you need to know why she cheated.
Infidelity is a very complicated process. Very rarely does a wife wake up one morning and declare, “Today’s the day I cheat on my husband!” That said, the number of cheating wives has been rising over the last few decades. According to a 2017 article in CNN, “since 1990…the rate of married women who report they’ve been unfaithful has increased by 40 percent.” The reasons for cheating stem from the fact that their needs are not being met by their husbands in one way or another. Some men who suspect their wives are cheating may hire private investigators to confirm their suspicions. Based on Esther Perel’s research for her book State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, some women reveal that they have affairs to keep their marriages together rather than tear them apart. Though, in some cases, husbands are already aware of the unfaithfulness and choose to overlook it.
If a woman feels that her psychological needs are not being met, she may decide to look elsewhere for someone who can provide that stimulation. It is tough spending your entire day with children only to be met with a tired husband who just wants to eat and go to bed. That kind of time alone with your thoughts begins to mess with your mind. A wife may seek out adult stimulation over the internet or communicate through texts or calls. Just being able to speak to someone on any intellectual level is very important. If a husband cannot meet those needs because he works too much or travels often, a wife is likely to find it somewhere else. Something to consider before you research how to catch a cheating wife.
Likewise, if a wife’s sexual needs are not being met by her husband, she may look outside the marriage. The could happen for a variety of reasons. When the couple barely have sex or the woman is unable to reach an orgasm, she may think that she could have better luck with someone else. According to Alicia Walker, sociologist and researcher at Missouri State University as well as author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife: Power, Pragmatism, and Pleasure in Women’s Infidelity, the women in her research were looking solely for physical satisfaction. Once that part of them was satiated, these women felt that they could be better wives to their husbands and have successful marriages.
Oftentimes, wives who cheat are feeling a lack of emotional support and appreciation. They often feel misunderstood by their husbands and this leads to a feeling of loneliness and isolation. Some common complaints include, “My husband doesn’t understand the struggles of staying home with kids all day,” “He doesn’t know how hard it is to juggle working, cooking, cleaning, teething babies, and/or school drop-offs,” “He never says ‘thank you,’” “He doesn’t make me feel special,” and so on. When a man cannot empathize with his wife or offer his assistance in any way, a wife is more likely to look for it in another place.
Regardless of the reasoning that causes infidelity, secrecy and deception is unacceptable. If you believe your wife might be having an affair, hiring a private investigator will help to uncover the truth. You will no longer have to question her actions or worry about the fate of your marriage. Once you find out what is going on, you will be in a better position to handle the situation.