Are Engagement Rings Anti-Feminist?

An engagement ring is a tool. Like any tool, it’s up to you to use it in a way that aligns with your beliefs, sentiments and goals. The best engagement rings communicate that you have carefully considered your partner’s personality, style, hobbies, lifestyle and taste. You should do this with any gift you give, but admittedly, the emotional and financial stakes are a bit higher when you give an engagement ring.

For some people, engagement, diamond rings, and the whole institution of marriage is disempowering to women. We can’t speak to that, but we can say that there are millions of empowered people out there who wear rings that symbolize partnership with another human being. Some of those rings are engagement rings and some of those people are women.

The potential anti-feminist behavior looks something like this: a person blindly follows a cultural script for “the way things are done.” In the process, they give up the potential to create a personally meaningful token of devotion and attention for a cookie-cutter symbol of outdated territoriality over women. If you are wondering how to translate what you know of your partner into a meaningful engagement ring…

You might be wondering why we get to play the role of snarky expert on the topic of engagements and feminism. Well, we are professional engagement ring consultants for Little Bird – Diamond & Engagement Ring Expertise. Yep! Engagement Ring Consultant is a job title these days. We offer advice on how to find the best diamond, how to design an engagement ring, and which jewelers are the best to work with depending on the ring in mind; we also happen to be feminists. (Cue the Ani DiFranco spotify playlist…) Without intending to sound sexist, we will use car metaphors to explain what we do over here at Little Bird (TLDR: we have figured out the best ways to buy an engagement ring, and we are happy to share.)

Our most popular package is The Wingman – It’s like having your best friend who happens to be a professional race car driver by your side as you search the web (and the world) for the perfect set of wheels. You get professional engagement ring guidance and tons of insider tips from the pit as well as personal introductions to the secret superstars of the industry. The price ranges from $300-700 depending on your project and you’ll get at least that much more value or savings out of your purchase

We also offer an 83-point-inspection approach to engagement rings called The Flyby. You go to whatever dealership or ring vendor you like, and once you see something you want, you contact us and we play the role of the good-as-gold mechanic that double-checks every aspect of your ring (I mean car) from durability, to value, to style and design. Quick, easy, saves you big time, $75.

Ever heard of the radio show Car Talk? We have something like that too. The Bird Call is free and will certainly help orient you on your hunt for a ring. We will outline the ideal path so you know what to expect as you go. This is like calling in to Car Talk and having Tom and Ray give you some advice on which car would be perfect for you. It’s free, it’s amazing, and it’s easier on the phone with us than it is to get on the most popular NPR’s radio show in history.




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Rasha writes about family, parenting, and home décor for Unfinished Man. Drawing from her experiences raising her own kids, she provides tips on creating warm, welcoming spaces. Rasha also shares home staging expertise to help transform houses into magazine-worthy dream homes.

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