For every guy out there that believes he’s an 11 and choirs of amazonian women sing his praises wherever he goes, there are a hundred guys who are a bit uncertain about where they rank when it comes to being attractive to women. If you’re one of the millions of men who are pretty sure that they’re a catch, but don’t know how to project that to the women they’re interested in, read on- I’m going to let you in on a few important secrets that will help you realize your potential. While we may seem like cruel and confusing creatures, the truth is, most of the time we don’t know what the hell is going on either; since you can’t change us, here are a few easy tips that will help you develop yourself for maximum impact with women.
Cocky & Funny, Interest Level, Game, and more…
You’re going to hear a lot of buzzwords out there, tossed about as though dating is a percentage based algorithm just waiting to be cracked. Dump this thinking- it’s a bunch of bullshit. The sheer amount of women (and their corresponding personalities) out there in the world pretty much guarantees that applying the same robotic strategy to every girl will get you stuck in a rut, and one that won’t get you any more dates. Instead, take a look at the underlying principles of all these gimmicky “dating techniques”, and what it boils down to is confidence. It’s not the easiest thing to cultivate immediately if you don’t have a lot, but realize that you’re not actually at a disadvantage- you’re in an ideal position to hit the dating scene! You aren’t that mega douche that’s drowning people amidst waves of self-appreciation, and you can build up slowly and comfortably until you find your groove. Confidence doesn’t mean that you march into a room and systematically stalk your prey like she’s raw meat on the savannah; it also doesn’t mean that you have to be upping yourself to everyone at every second. Confidence is comfortable… and if even if you’re not that comfortable, you can fake it until you make it- it will eventually become routine, and every facet of your life will be better off for it
Examples of What’s Confident:
- making the first move when it comes to talking to a girl- this doesn’t mean cheesy pickup lines… try starting with “Hi.” Really.
- standing tall naturally; avoid slouching- it makes us think you want to avoid our attention. You’d be surprised at this difference this makes everywhere you go.
- talking to us about stuff in the real world, that interests you; if you talk about shit you don’t know just to sound cool, you sound fake or stupid. If you try to talk about stuff “that girls like”, you sound like you’re pandering. Real interest is equal to real attraction; passion, likes and hobbies (ie. a personality) can’t be faked.
- taking the initiative when planning a date or meetup; try something at a location of your choosing, or give a bit less notice to avoid freaking out over the wait. Spontaneity can be fun and interesting.
What’s Over the Top:
- marching up and being disrespectful or using a god awful line. You’ll hear about “neg” approaches, where you are cocky and put something down about her… If you’re interested in her, why would you want look for what you don’t like? This might work if you’re extremely lucky and looking for girl meat that you have no intention of caring about later, but that’s pretty unfulfilling (especially because it will burn that bridge, and you won’t get to hit it again!).
- flexing, posing, primping or otherwise showing off something you’re wearing or have- if she didn’t ask to see it, don’t put it out there. Being confident means you know you don’t need to draw attention to what you’ve got, because you already know it’s good and don’t need the validation.
- talking about yourself non-stop, talking about old conquests, or a laundry list of your achievements. There is a time and a place for all this stuff, and it isn’t when you’re casually getting to know a girl you’re interested in.
- dominating a date (dominating is another one of those strategy terms you’ll see come up; if it isn’t whips, chains, and consensual, ignore any mention of this approach completely.) Don’t make demands, don’t cut her food for her, don’t tell her when you’re picking her up and what she’ll eat for dinner. You want a partner, not a femme bot. If you treat a girl this way, and she responds to it, you have to question whether you want an equal partner or a subservient ego booster. Hint- you don’t want a Stepford Wife; you deserve better, and frankly, so does she.
Have you noticed that nothing in this article talks about good looks or money? There’s a reason for that- they really don’t matter; women can be just as superficial as the next guy, but if you’re in it for love, you don’t want those women. If a girl is all about your money, or your situation-esque abs, then don’t bother; you’re a catch remember? Being confident also means that you know that you’re worth being treated right, so don’t let yourself be used or abused. Good for you for having either of those things, but if you’re reading this article they obviously haven’t made you happy in love yet.
As for looks, your physical appearance will appear to blossom as your confidence in yourself grows; your inner attitude is more sexy than all the Old Spice and silk boxers in the world. Just remember that being average is not interesting, and interesting is what women want… using the same tired approaches and asshole strategies makes you just like every other guy out there. No one other guy is exactly like you, and being unique makes it impossible to be average! There’s a magical, magnetic attraction that builds with confidence. The more the better- but remember there is a line. If you’re thinking about a buddy you know who’s super confident, who is a complete asshole and gets laid a bunch- consider this: does he have a happy relationship? Has he found a girl he can spend more than a few months with? The answer is no- I don’t even have to meet him to know that. So the next time you go out, you do you. She’s going to want to too.
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