There comes a time in a man’s life when his style of party tricks just has to change. When you’re young, they usually involve…well, I think you know what I’m saying. But as you get older and (supposedly) more mature, it’s time to kick those well into touch. Unless you’re my friend Steve, who still gets kicks out of the old elephant trick.
But I digress. The point is, to really excel at party tricks these days; you have to put in the effort. And if you are going to go to so much trouble, you might as well do something that will make your friends’ jaws drop. So I’ve been thinking – what can I do? I don’t want to spend more than a half a year, and don’t really wish to invest a lot of money. It’s also something I need to do in my spare time, as I still have to pay the bills. Here’s my shortlist so far – let me know which one I should do.
I’m amazed at some of the things those parkour guys get up to. So it shames me a little that all I want to do it for is to show off to my friends by zipping up a garden wall and backflipping back down again. But still, it’s number one on my list. Now, I appreciate it’s going to need a lot of core strength and flexibility – not my strongest points at the moment. But if this Parkour course delivers the goods, I’m going to be ready in around sixty days time. And if it doesn’t? It’s cool – I’ve got excellent medical insurance.
Now, you might laugh at this one. But honestly I can’t think of anything funnier than surprising my friends with some Sinatra style on a huge dinner table. I like to believe I’ve got quick feet, but what the pro tap dancers do is well beyond me – for the moment. One thing I will say is that I’m not sure how comfortable I’ll be taking lessons. For one, it’s just my luck that I’ll get spotted, and the longest prepared joke in the world will be ruined. Also, I don’t want anyone to see how ridiculous I look until I’ve perfected at least two moves. So this seems just the ticket.
The older you get, the more pianos you find at parties. And I’ll be honest, I’m itching to play something other than the melody of Axel F and Chopsticks. So, some secret piano lessons might be in order. I’m going to find me the best digital piano I can find for my money and then I’m going to get the basic under my belt with Zebra Keys. An hour a day of my life for six months and I think I’ll at least be able to pull off some blues numbers.
I have a good friend who is the clumsiest guy that the world has ever seen. If any object of yours is within 10 yards of him, then you had better have a good insurance policy – it’s that bad. So, imagine everyone’s surprise when one night after a few too many drinks, he goes to the kitchen, pulls out three eggs and juggles them for over ten minutes. No breakages, no worries, and no mess on the floor. It was the single most astonishing thing I have ever seen – even more than the Sixth Sense reveal. And I’ve been a little jealous ever since. So I’m going to try juggling, because if he can do it, then surely there’s hope for me.