As most of you know, I’m a rather religious fellow. I started following the ways of Vishnu, and his brothers Jesus and Allah many years ago, and their teachings have never steered me wrong. The problem with religion, though, is that there just isn’t enough friendly competition. Religions the world over have worked together peacefully for so many millenia that I’m starting to feel like they’ve lost their sense of competition, and that’s why I’m so happy to see these two churches competing. They both feel strongly about a topic, and they’re making their opinions known. They don’t waste their time discussing useless topics like poverty and violence, and instead chose to shed light on a question that has haunted humanity since the dawn of time; do animals truly have souls? Do all dogs go to heaven?
Apparently not; it seems that all creatures save man are barred from entering the pearly gates. Heaven only has a limited amount of real estate, and filling the place with animals would just be silly.
But sometimes you have rebel churches who say otherwise. These rogue groups specialize in smuggling dead animals into heaven, for a price.
Oh, it has nothing to do with magic at all – we’re talking about pure science here. The teleportation technology used to get the dogs into heaven is cutting edge.
And there we have it, two churches competing for what they believe is the good of humanity, or at least the fate of the dog world. Who do you think is right? Do dogs really have souls? Can rocks go to heaven?