I see guys struggling with this all the time and want to debunk the “greatest line” myth. The line doesn’t matter. The keys to approaching an attractive woman are a confident early approach, a smile that catches her eye and a mindset that allows you not to care about the result. It’s less about what you say than how you say it.
Show Your Confidence
You will need to build this confidence long before you approach this woman. You can’t fake it. It has to be there and be true, but trust me…you can do it.
Remind yourself of all the great qualities you have. Think about the good things you do, the success you’ve had and the positive impact you have on people in your life. Keep those thoughts in the forefront of your mind when you make your move. You deserve a woman that you’re attracted to!
This legitimate confidence allows you to turn around the typical losing dynamic many men take of trying to convince a woman to like them by attempting to prove their worthiness. Instead, know that you are a good guy and present yourself like you belong there. Shift the conversation tone to be one where she needs to impress you.
Don’t Hesitate – Get In There
This is the mistake I see most often. Guys like to come into a bar, check the crowd out and then just hover around a group of attractive women. This is positively the worst thing you can do.
Hovering shows weakness and a lack of confidence. Once you establish some eye contact or better a smile…go in! If you wait, two really bad things happen. Firstly, you continue to show your lack of confidence and drive to go for what you want. This is extremely unattractive to women. Secondly, the longer you hover on the outside, the more time you have to get nervous and over-think things. You’ll in turn be stiffer and your conversation will be less spontaneously free flowing.
Women want a confident man and want to feel desired. Showing that you can walk right up will show her that you are a man of action that goes after what he wants. That is an alpha male quality all women desire and allows her to envision you as powerful in other aspects of your life whether it’s the promotion you want in business, the personal goal you want to accomplish or the character you want to impart in your future children. It’s a primal allure that women can’t resist.
Smile and Have Fun
It sounds simple, but it’s important to be having fun when you’re anywhere. I’m not suggesting you be fake or disingenuous here, but enjoy where you are wherever it is. If you’re with your buddies, let yourself enjoy the moment and smile while you’re telling them a story and laugh it up when you’re listening to theirs.
Thoroughly enjoying where you are with visible smiles and laughter serves two purposes. The most important thing is you’ll actually be having a better time and be a happier person regardless of whether you go and talk to that attractive woman. The second subtle benefit is you’ll have women wondering why you are so happy. She’ll think, “Why is there so much fun going on over there, while I’m sitting listening to my girlfriend’s boring story about her ex-boyfriend?”
People want to be around other people that enjoy life and are having fun. Have the whole bar wondering what your secret is and why you are so happy. You can’t miss with that approach.
My friend used to say, “If you walk out of this bar and never talk to that girl you are definitely not getting laid. If you go up and talk to her, you might get laid and if you don’t… you’re still no worse off than if you hadn’t (still not getting laid).” These are funny pearls of wisdom and definitely on the track that I’m suggesting.
There’s an old adage in sales/negotiation that the less you appear to want it, the more likely you are to get it. The idea in this case is the more you are able to present yourself as not desperately needing her, the more likely you are to get her in this case. Where you want to get to is an even better place where your intention really just becomes to have fun with an attractive woman.
Don’t think of it as having to get her number or get her to come home with you. Embrace truly not caring if either of those things happen. Look at it as an opportunity instead to just enjoy yourself in the company of someone you find attractive. Continue to have fun in the conversation. Be fun and funny, make fun of yourself, and make fun of her in a playful way that keeps things engaging and enjoyable. I guarantee the looser and more fun you have…the more attractive you will be to her.
Remember that if you swing and miss it’s not a failure. She may be pretty boring and not holding up her end of a two way conversation but you can say you gave her a shot to impress and match your interest and energy…and she couldn’t hang. You can’t control her reaction. All you can control is YOU and YOUR approach and mindset.
Did you notice that nothing in this article was about what to actually say to an attractive woman? The goal of all of these bits of advice is to get you in a confident mindset where you have fun and don’t let yourself get in the way of your own success with women. If you do that, it won’t make a bit of difference what words you use.