There’s a great Allman Brothers song that rants “there’s nobody left to run with anymore” reflecting on the transition in every man’s life when their group of friends has a lifestyle shift. When we’re in our 20s it’s easy to go out and meet women because all of our friends are single and have that same desire. As time goes on, careers are developed, focuses shift and yes, some of those former wingmen end up getting married. Where does that leave us?
You have essentially three core options: deny your own changing position, listen to your now married friends overhype their game or try online dating. Let’s explore each…shall we?
Be The Old Dude At The Bar
We’ve all seen them. Those guys at the bar that are working the girls half their age in a strangely remarkable defiance of their own time and space. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to feel young and confident no matter what your age is. However, do you really want to spend your valuable time in your 30s, 40s, dare I say 50s in a loud club buying some Administrative Assistant a $15 martini so you might sleep with her?
You’ve evolved. You are a reader of the Unfinished Man for Christ’s sake! I’m expecting that while it’s always fun to have a hot girl smile at your wit, that will only take you so far. If you’ve got the cash and the confidence, this strategy may get you laid…but will you want to introduce this girl to your friends or family? How about spending a whole long Memorial Day weekend with her? I think not.
Unless you are “The World’s Most Interesting Man”…let’s move onto option 2.
The “Man If I Wasn’t Married” Guy
You’re out for a day of golfing and these married buddies are psyched that they’ve been allotted a few hours by their wife away from their “honey do” list. In this brief window of time they attempt to reclaim some of their former masculinity. This would ordinarily be sad but acceptable, however they take it too far by massively over simplify dating and using creative editing to overstate their former prowess with women.
They have you looking at every woman that crosses their path regardless of whether they are hot or not. You wonder, “Jeez is this what committing to sex with one woman will make me someday too?”
Worse, these guy talk as if dating is so easy and if they were single they’d be hooking up left and right. These are the “Man if I wasn’t married…” guys. They have zero game. They talk big, but have no idea how to attract a woman any more. The reality is if they weren’t married they’d be so lost, they’d stand a better chance of hitting a Roy Halladay curveball.
You’re a good guy and you’re not about to burst your buddy’s bubble, but you can’t let this impact your own confidence. These guys are valued friends, but are no longer going to help you meet beautiful women.
There is a better way.
Online Dating To The Rescue
I’m not going to sit here and tell you online dating is perfect. It’s not.
However, if you do it right and get some effective coaching you can make it a powerful tool to add attractive women into your life.
The most enticing aspect of online dating is the ability to screen women you’d like to meet in the comfort of your own home. Your nights out and end up being with higher quality women instead of hunting and stumbling over less than spectacular barflies.
You’re with me on this, right? You’ve been to “the bars” a thousand times… you know the routine. Your available time has diminished as you’ve evolved. You want to spend it wisely, doing something interesting and with high quality women. Yes?