“Cuck” is used as a common insult back and forth between dudes. A “cuck” is often used to insult another man’s dignity, indicating that the man is being cheated on or used as a third party in a bizarre sex triangle. But in light of the scandal with Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife, where there was a third party present throughout most of the sex in their relationship, there is an increased interest in the cuckolding kink. Three people having sex can happen in a variety of ways. It really simply depends on the parameters set out by the people involved. Cuckolding is simply one popular method of it.
Psychologists have long described cuckolding as a normal, valid sexual kink. More people are into it than you might realize. In the post-50 Shades of Grey world of normalized kink, cuckolding can be a fairly standard affair. The term has been, outdatedly, used to describe a man whose woman is cheating on him, hence why it is used often as an intentionally emasculating insult. Even without a modern twist, cuckolding actually has been shown to increase sexual vibrancy. When studied in cisgender, polyamorous couples, sometimes cuckolding can increase sexual longevity. The phenomenon is referred to ashuman sperm competition. Research suggests that when a man watches his female partner have sex with another man, it can send a biological impulse that results in longer, more intense sex with a larger amount of sperm ejaculation. That same biological motivation can also have the side effect of shorter recovery time post-coital for the male, meaning he is ready to rock for round two.
If you happen to be a part of a cuckold relationship, you might also experience compersion. This is the phenomenon of deriving joy from seeing your partner happy. This concept is something often experienced as part of polyamorous relationships, and can often be the emotional engine that keeps them going. These relationships are defined by either two people having sex and one person observing or simply three people having sex. Of course, sometimes if the supposed “cuckoldress” (not always a woman) and the “bull” (not always a competing man) in a relationship start off by making sexual contact, the cuckolded can become involved in some way. Maybe through coaching, maybe through additional contact.
The cuckolded relationship might not always be the ideal one represented in pop culture, but sex involving three parties is often portrayed as an accomplishment to be had. The most important guideline for a three way is less about how you go about the physical action and how you go about the emotional aspect of it. If you are involved with people experienced in polyamory, they may be a little bit more emotionally advanced in preparation for the act. Often, three party sex as well as cuckholding come with the side effects of jealousy, humiliation, and submission. Because three party sex and cuckholding are somewhat more advanced states of kink, those involved might be used to or seek out humilation and submission.
If you are really interested in the concept of polyamory, the consent of all is important. Some might have looked at the Falwells and thought they were being kink-shamed, but two other things were true as well. First, they had shamed and harmed other people for their sexual preferences for decades. Second, it has been revealed that Becki Falwell was a predator, often coming onto her son’s friends and other young people, and repeatedly pursuing them, using her power to do so. While power dynamics are a huge issue in three party sex, a mature, informed group of people can make it work. If anyone wants to be a part of three people having sex, I would recommend the classic 90s guidebook to polyamory,The Ethical Slut, for further study.
And if all parties are informed, consenting, and demonstrate a clear understanding of boundaries, what is to stop them from having some fun?