Over the years, we’ve covered a wide range of topics relating to dating and relationships here at Unfinished Man. We’ve talking about everything from getting your girlfriend interested in sports, to suggestions for those of our readers that are dating in their 30’s. Yes, we tend to focus on the hunt… the chase, and what to do after… but what about before that part? You know, right before you start combing Plenty of Fish listings for a good match.
Dating someone – or even trying to find your perfect match – is an often exciting experience. There’s that sense of uncertainty, that newness… that lack of familiarity with the people you meet, and the mystery surrounding those you’ve seen from a distance, or on that one special profile online. But there’s a component that I believe should come before all that, right after you’ve made the decision to start testing the waters.
Reflection Time – Values, Desires, Aspirations
If you’re as busy a person as I am, running your own business, jet-setting, or working through any of the infinite number of challenges that life throws your way, then perhaps it’s been a while since you’ve had a chance to just sit down and think, to self reflect on your life, what you value, what you would want now and in the future, and the perhaps even the type of person you might want to date.
If you’ve made the decision to dive right in and sign up with something like a dating for professionals website, then that’s fantastic; you’ve made a useful first step on your way to meeting someone great and perhaps one day building that awesome relationship you clearly want. But slow it down a bit first, and do some self reflection. I promise you there’s time enough in a day for it, and I’m even more certain that it’s beneficial to everyone. Knowing what’s important to you has real value in the world of dating, and everything that comes after that too. Have you ever really sat down and wrote out the qualities you value in a person? Or, more enjoyably, and no less important, what your dream home would be like? These are all important things to know, and people – women, men, friends, foes – respect a man who has direction, who knows what they want, or at least have a general idea.
Even if you’re not really interested in dating right now, give yourself some thought anyway. Who knows, you might just discover a few things about yourself that you didn’t realize before, and besides… that eHarmony Facebook Page isn’t going anywhere. You’ll have plenty of time to bone up on useful dating material, but first… do some self-reflection, learn something new about yourself, and you’ll go into that new relationship all the stronger for it.
[Photos by Hobvias Sudoneighm, Mark Abrahams]