If you were to ignore all of the dating advice I’ve given you over the years and pick just one juicy nugget to heed, choose this one. True confidence is the secret ingredient to meeting the women you want and there’s no shortcut to getting there.
Forget the pick-up lines
I’ve read a number of my dating advice colleagues’ columns and tips from supposed dating experts who claim to give you the magic words that will make the difference in your success rate with women on sites like Victoriabrides. It’s an illusion to think that simply saying a combination of words will make you attractive instead of ignored by women. If you don’t carry yourself with confidence, it doesn’t matter what you say because it won’t work.
Meeting attractive women is not about reading from a script. It’s about finding your inner confidence that will resonate and draw women to you. Sorry guys, there’s no shortcut here. Opening up a conversation by challenging your targeted woman and adding a level of comedy are good strategies but if you don’t truly believe you deserve to be there in that conversation…you won’t be for long.
You can’t fake it
The biggest difference between cockiness and confidence is whether that belief in Self is true. Cocky guys present a false front of confidence but deep down (as deep as you can go with those guys) there’s very little self esteem to be found. In fact, that cockiness is often a compensation technique for an extremely diminished self image. Cocky guys only succeed with women with equally low self esteem. If that’s what you aspire to, you are reading the wrong article.
Confident men attract remarkable women. Women who are not just sexy but also intelligent, accomplished and conversationally dynamic want a genuinely confident man. To be that confident man you have to tap into what makes you awesome. You can’t fake it ‘til you make it here. You have to do the upfront work to get there.
How do I find my true confidence?
Long before you start sending out your online dating emails or think about approaching a woman in a bar, you have to put in a little developmental work with yourself. In my experience working with tons of clients at My Online Dating Consultant, I’ve yet to find a client who doesn’t have a number of amazing things about them. They just haven’t tapped into them and they don’t remind themselves of them often enough of those traits. Everyone has great attributes and things they’ve done that are intriguing to women.
A lot of guys get so focused on figuring out what they need to do or say and forget to look inside themselves and figure out what makes them great. Sit down and write a list of things that are great about you, things you’ve accomplished that you’re proud of and experiences you’ve had (travel, cultural exchanges, etc.) that make you unique or have impacted your life.
Take that list and really embrace it. This may sound cheesy, but keep that list by your bedside and read it to yourself out loud every morning before you start your day. This will serve as a daily reminder of the person you are and help you stop focusing on what you’re not.
Bring it home
Approaching life with authentic confidence will surely impress the women you want. Make the investment of time in reminding yourself what is great about you and replay that in your mind when you feel that bit of social trepidation in going after the woman you desire. You deserve her damn it, now go get her!