Our world now moves at a lightning fast rate. It seems our most specific desires can be fulfilled at our fingertips with the touch of an iPhone app. Applying these principles of immediate gratification to dating can be a dangerous trap to fall into.
Reminding yourself of some key timing related rules of dating can serve you well, young grasshopper.
People Don’t Come In Ready Made Packages
We are all a collection of awesome attributes and some not so awesome attributes. Expecting to meet someone that is going to be out-of-the-box amazing is setting yourself up for failure and a lonely apartment full of kittens. People don’t arrive this way.
We’ve all been through some trying situations, unfulfilling relationships or challenging childhoods. Inevitably some of that will seep into who we are and how we interact with people. This is part of life and truthfully, you want someone that has been a little battle tested so you know that they’ll be able to handle life’s future adversity.
We are not bulletproof or pristine and we need to remember that those that we date are not either.
People Say Stupid Shit When They’re Nervous
People are nervous when they meet you on Hily and begin to discover you. They’re not always going to put their best foot forward right away. They may stumble over their words or say something stupid. Give them a chance to be imperfect and be able to laugh at the sometimes ridiculous adventure of dating.
Trying to be super-polished or slick can make you appear like a douche bag. Absolutely be confident, but use an awkward situation to add levity and highlight you’re fun approach to life.
Women love it when you can show that you don’t take yourself too seriously.
Stick It Out
It’s tempting, especially for people experimenting with online dating, to have a short window of acceptance with people you date. You may ponder take a Seinfeldian approach to overanalyzing every flaw she shows you and using her “close talking”, “eating peas one at a time” or the fact that she’s “too nice” as a reason to bail.
After all, there are tons of women out there and you’ve got a list of women you’ve been emailing on your online dating site of choice. I implore you to resist this temptation.
I’m not suggesting you stay in a situation that doesn’t feel right or you know is unhealthy. However, relationships need time to gestate. You don’t get to really know someone over one night of cocktails.
What makes people truly memorable and special is how they support and interact with you over time. You’ll only get a glimpse of that within a first date or two. If you feel like there’s a connection, but you’re not sure…stick it out and don’t run for the perceived perfection of the next online dater emailing you.
You Can’t Hurry Love
While we live in a fast paced world today, dating remains true to its historic pace. People take time to open up and show their great qualities, so be patient in allowing someone you feel a spark with to show themselves over time. I’ll venture a bet that your inbox can wait a few extra days.