The road to success is a hard one gentlemen. It’s littered with refuse, pot holes, and blind corners. Literally. So pay attention to what it is you do and what it is you drive. You see, we men have a penchant for buying unnecessarily “manly” vehicles in the pursuit of our normal 9-5. Now, I’m not against owning a sweet ride to tool around in, no sir, I am not. What I’m advocating is that we do it in a more financially sound way.
You see, far too often have I seen younger friends of mine get their first jobs, rush out to a dealership, and then sign themselves up for 7 years worth of payment on a truck so large a rancher would find it gaudy. I’ve seen them tear off the lot in a sports car equipped with more bells than a church, and an insurance bill that would make Jesus weep. So then, lets take stock of what we do and what we drive to get there.
Pimped Out vs Practical?
Being from a small country town, I am no strangers to the pickup truck. A reliable vehicle, a pickup will get you where you’re going with little complaint, across dirt roads, muddy trails, and through sugar sand. They’re vehicle made for men who work. Which is why I can not stand to see some lifted, bastard child of what a truck should be, driving around a metropolitan area.
Of course, I might forgive this if it were a contractors vehicle. Yet every damned time I see one of these vehicles it is either being driven by a soccer mom, Jersey shore reject, or a working business professional. What’s the point? Is the extra long truck bed necessary for your groceries? Did you have it lifted to make sure no one could see your spiked, frosted hair look? Oh I know, your company goes through so much paperwork you need the truck to move it to the incinerator? It’s as if throwing money away has become a competitive sport, and these tools are leading the way.
The lifted truck is not the only vehicle that invokes my ire, oh no sir. I also have it in for the new and exciting “drift” cars. You know the ones I’m talking about. Flashy spoiler, over sized tail pipe, and a nice under glow kit. Just really classy accessories when making that beautiful 1995 Sentra look a little more like your dream car. Give me a break people. At least get a vehicle that is convincing for your charade. What’s even better though, is watching a guy drive up to a construction site in one of these, with the trunk popped open and filled with 2×4’s. The one guy who should have that shitty truck I listed above and he doesn’t even bother.
Heck, you can get one or an entire fleet custom engineered for a trucking, hauling, and wheelchair accessible passenger driving. So why, for all that is good and right in this world, do you drive this terrible car?
Lastly, lets all try to avoid “Toy” syndrome, in which we buy shit we can’t afford or don’t need. I mean, I get it. You just found your first job out of college/unemployment/etc and you want to get rid of that old beater. She’s embarrassing, the AC doesn’t work, and it makes an unholy noise known only to you and the damned in Tartarus. So go to the dealership, but go armed having already picked the car you want and the price you’ll pay. Too often a car salesman, who does work on commission, will up sell you to a nicer, newer, and out of your budget vehicle. I know it’s tempting to get, but remember, you just got this job. Give yourself a minute to enjoy that income, replenish your savings, or pay down any debt you’ve incurred. If somebodies more concerned with the make of your car than the make of your character, you don’t want to get involved. This includes friends as well as women.
Remember guys, a penny saved is a penny earned, and I’d rather spend my money on relaxation and things I love instead of working to pay a car payment.