Many of my clients struggle with dating multiple women at once and making it work for them. The days of dating one person at a time are relegated to our parent’s distant history and if you haven’t already, it’s time to adapt to the way dating works today. This process can be daunting, expensive and time consuming if you do it wrong; but doing it right will lead you to the best woman for you in a very natural way. Find out how to do it right.
Your Goal and How You Get There
Dating in the Modern Era requires dating multiple people at a time. Some guys love it in theory but struggle when it comes to execution. This is how it works. Stop bungling it and read on.
The key is staying aware of your ultimate goal : ending up with one amazing woman that you’ll be excited about pursuing a committed relationship with. View the process of getting there via dates with multiple women as allowing a burgeoning relationship to unfold naturally without feeling forced.
If you’re jumping into dating after a long hiatus or just trying online dating for the first time, you’re going to be getting a lot of attention. Enjoy it and don’t feel rushed to make a decision right away. It is an unspoken truth that if you go out with someone on a first, second, or even third date that you’re also dating other people at the same time.
Let go of any guilt you may have. Trust me on this that the women you are dating are doing the exact same thing and “trying on” lots of different kinds of guys to decide who’s right for them. Women are liberated, empowered and as in charge of their dating life as they’ve ever been. Don’t expect that they’re just waiting for your call.
By dating a variety of different women at the same time you set in motion an efficient process. You will eventually organically pare your options down to reveal one amazing woman who captures your attention. Until then, enjoy the journey and the attention of interesting women you’ll experience. Ultimately, you will get to a point where you’re out with Girl #1 and thinking, “I wish I was with Girl #3.” This is where you want to be. At that point, it’s time to get off the dating carousel and devote your complete attention and time to Girl #3.
To get the most out of dating multiple women at one time, you have to be present with each of the women you are dating. When you are out with Girl #1 don’t be texting Girl #2. Be present. Use each date as a free preview of what a relationship with each girl by being there with her in every respect.
When you are out with Girl #1, give her your full attention. She deserves it. If any of your dates should inquire whether you are dating other people, don’t lie about it. Own who you are and what you’re doing without shame. Be honest that you have been dating but don’t go into any details about other dates with the girl you are currently on a date with. It’s disrespectful and makes you appear piggish. If you ignore my guidance, you risk crossing the important line of being mysterious and intriguing to being douchey and manipulative.
The mere notion that you are still out and mixing with other women will be enough to achieve the desired effect of letting Girl #1 know where you stand and that she hasn’t sealed the deal yet. By virtue of this, you will be even more attractive to each girl and this will keep them engaged and interested. Women love when the man they are after is desired by others too. If you’re not cultivating that, you are missing an opportunity.
Return the favor and don’t get lazy or sloppy in pursuing her either. As previously noted, bring your A game and never lose site of the fact that she’s out on other dates too and has an equal opportunity to be impressed by another.
Success With One Will Breed Confidence With Others
As readers of my articles know, confidence is without question the most attractive quality a man can exhibit. That confidence can’t be faked and must be genuine. This process of dating multiple women will only help your cause by boosting your confidence with all of them.
Your success (whether it is sexual, emotional, or just feeling more desirable) will only breed confidence with the others. Use that positive energy boost to enhance your self image and ride that wave of reward that follows.
As most men have experienced, success with women tends to come in extremes. You are often either on fire and hitting out of the park at every at bat or you are ice cold and rubbing sticks together to try to make it happen. Use your enhanced confidence during this time to really embrace your ability to decide what you want and who you want to spend your time with.
Let Her Go If You’re Not Into Her – Good Dating Karma
As you go through this process you’ll encounter women who are very interested in you and whom you know either right away or after a few dates will not be a good match for you. Don’t be a douche bag and keep these interested women pursuing you when you absolutely know there’s no chance you’ll ultimately want a committed relationship with them.
You don’t have to decide prematurely and there’s nothing wrong with going through the dating process to figure it out, but the reality is we usually know where things are going (even more quickly when that somewhere is nowhere). Some men will blatantly ignore this and sadly use one woman’s genuine interest as a means of leverage to feed their male egos. This is bad form and as a Finished Man, it’s beneath you.
Dating karma has a way of coming around to bite you, so do the right thing and let the girl who’s interested but is not a match off the hook. It will empower you as a thoughtful person and you’ll be rewarded with good dating ju-ju. Be respectful of people (particular those who like you) and don’t mess with this cardinal rule.
Don’t Fall Into The Trap
The “gotcha” in all of this is that many men let their eyes slip off of the prize and get lost in all of the attention they’re getting from multiple women. They may get to a point where they realize one of the women they are dating is a superior match to the others but like a crackhead looking to score, get hooked on the variety and excitement of sex with multiple women.
Don’t be that guy. Exceptional women don’t come along often and when you eventually find your way to one, don’t be a schmuck and let her slip away because you want to fill your calendar with lots of dates. Enjoy the many perks of dating multiple women but never lose sight of the ultimate objective of finding one woman who will enhance your life and bring out your best.