Dating is hard. There’s no denying it. It’s always been hard. Whether you’re shy or a socialite, confidence can quickly fly out of the window when it comes to talking to someone attractive or even trying to talk to someone you find attractive. But dating definitely feels harder in the modern age. It’s a bit stereotypical to say, but it’s true that people are a little more insulated in this digital era. Online dating is popular, of course, but it can be difficult. A lot of people on Tinder aren’t actually keen to go on dates, so success rates can be low. And it can be even harder for men, given that they’re often expected to take the initiative when it comes to dating. But there are good and bad ways to go about trying to date people in 2018, whether you’re interested in finding women or other men. Either way, here’s some advice to help you.
Go on a double date.
One of the best ways to improve your success at dating is to go on a few double dates. If you have a friend or a colleague who has a partner or seems to do well on dates then you should ask them if they can help you out. Going on a double date gives you an opportunity to see how your buddy composes themselves around people they’re seeing. Obviously, you don’t want to copy them. That would be obvious, and it would probably make your own date cringe or feel very uncomfortable. You just need to take some general pointers. Gauge how much they talk as opposed to how much they listen to their date; think about whether you’re talking too much or too little with your own date. If your buddy tells a funny story to the table then you might want to do the same. Just don’t start competing because that’s another situation that can make dates uncomfortable; nobody wants to listen to two guys trying to better each other.
Try local dating companies.
This is another smart way to improve your dating game in 2018. It can be hard for men to find women or other men to date in the modern age. There’s a fear that you’ll be perceived as a “creep” if you approach a woman in a club, a bar, or… anywhere, really. Later in the article, we’ll talk about feeling more confident in this regard. But dating companies can help you to get started with meeting some people who would be happy to go out with you. They can help to match you up with potential dates based on similar interests and personality types. You don’t have to roll the dice and hope the best by asking out a random person.
If you’re struggling to find people of the same sex through ordinary dating apps and companies then you might want to try more focused channels. You could check out some free gay chat line phone numbers. It could be a great way to start talking to some local men in your area and potentially set up a date. Companies who specialize in dating can be very helpful if you struggle to get talking to people you’d want to ask out. They can help to directly connect you with people who are also interested in dating. You don’t have to worry about having awkward conversations with people who already have a partner or aren’t looking to date right now.
Forget the “rules”.
The only real rule of dating is that you should take the hint if somebody says they’re not interested. Other than that, you need to stop restricting yourself. So many people struggle to find a partner because they struggle to find a date in the first place. But this might be the result of obstacles you put in your own way. You might tell yourself that you can’t ask out someone because it’s “the wrong setting”, but why should there be a right or wrong setting for talking to somebody? Obviously, there might be certain inappropriate times to ask somebody on a date (if they’re in the middle of a phone call or they’re with their partner, for example), but the point is that you shouldn’t make excuses out of embarrassment or awkwardness. You need to be bold enough to talk to people you meet out in the world if you want a chance of getting more dates. If you narrow down your potential options for dating then you shouldn’t be surprised that you’re barely having any success.
You need to aim to be a sociable person in all situations. If you think the cashier at your local coffee shop is cute and friendly then you could ask them if they’d be interested in seeing you after their shift. If they say no then you can let them get back to work and go on with your day. Nothing is lost by trying. There are a million reasons as to why somebody might not be up for dating you. It doesn’t have to be seen as the ultimate rejection or ego destroyer. Even if you only get a “yes” from 10% of the people you ask on dates, that’s good news. That means you’ve found the 10% of people who actually feel like they might click with you. You wouldn’t want to waste your time on a date with the wrong kind of person for you. That’s the way you need to start viewing dating if you want to be more successful.
Show dates who you are.
If you want to date successfully then you need to be confident. Who would’ve thought it? Looping back to what was said in the introduction, a lack of confidence is the biggest reason for people struggling to date in 2018. Whether you’ve had a bad experience with dating in the past or you’re not matching with as many people on Tinder as your friends, you can’t let failure get you down. A lot of people are very picky when it comes to dating. They might not give you a fair chance, but part of that could be due to your lack of self-esteem. You need to be bold enough to show dates who you are. Let them see the real you. Otherwise, how will you ever stand a chance of securing a second date? Nervousness is understandable; it’s okay to fumble over your words on a first date (a lot of people find it endearing). But there’s a difference between fumbling over your words and failing to say anything at all.
You can even admit to your nervousness if that helps to explain your initial awkwardness; just make sure that you top it off with a nice comment. For example, tell your date that they’re just very attractive and charming. That smooth compliment will take you a long way. Once you’ve actually started to get to know someone, the nerves will start to go away. But that can only happen with a leap of faith. You need to be confident enough to ask that pretty girl (or boy) on a date in the first place. You need to be confident enough to compose yourself on a date itself. You need to be confident enough to show the truest version of yourself too. Don’t pretend to be someone else because you’ll get caught out if you end up going on a second or a third date with that person.