Male groups often act as though dating comes naturally. However, now that you’re alone, it’s OK to admit that the thought of getting back into dating is a terrifying thought following your past relationship. After all, there are many questions swirling around your mind, particularly related to whether you’ve lost your touch.
Thankfully, finding a return to dating needn’t be the daunting challenge you perceive it to be. Use these questions for guidance, and you’ll be back to your best in no time.
Are You Ready?
It might not seem very manly to admit that breakups hurt, but let’s park the bravado for a second and just accept that they do. Furthermore, they can leave you feeling a little short of confidence, not least if you let your looks slide a little during the relationship.
Every bloke is susceptible to those doubts, but some will take longer to gain the closure and acceptance before moving on. There’s nothing wrong with mourning a relationship. Likewise, you should have no hesitation to take some time out of the dating world to focus on yourself. Whether it’s getting fit or working your way to a job promotion doesn’t matter. Learning to be happy in your skin is a crucial prerequisite before starting to love someone else.
It’s very tempting to rush yourself back into the game, especially when your pals have shown that bouncebackability in the past. Still, only you will know if you’re ready. Making sure that you are is only fair to your future dates as well as yourself. Clearing out the ex’s stuff is crucial too.
Where Can You Meet People?
Dating has changed massively in recent years. If your last relationship was a long one, there’s a good chance that this arena will look vastly different to the last time you were involved. Nowadays, meeting via a swipe right is more likely than hooking up in a bar.
While pimping your Tinder profile may lead to swipes, the volume of matches makes it difficult to form any real connection. This is especially true when you consider that the average woman gains at least 10x as many matches as the average guy. Therefore, reverting back to chat lines may be the better solution for creating those bonds. After all, quality should take priority over quantity. Besides, the excitement of actively speaking to somebody can be far greater than text talk.
There’s nothing wrong with meeting dates in real life. Nonetheless, the thought of rejection can make it a daunting prospect for many recently returned daters, and it can knock you off of your game. If removing the fear allows you to be yourself, you’ll have a far better shot at success.
What Should You Do On A First Date?
Whether it’s a blind date, seeing a colleague, or meeting up with someone off the internet doesn’t matter. That official first date can be make or break for the potential relationship. There are many reasons why things might not work out, but a lack of preparation needn’t be one of them.
Before worrying too much about the event or location, you need to consider your actions on a first date. Presenting yourself in the right manner should also include dressing to impress. Apart from boosting your appearance and self-confidence, it lets your date know that you want to make a positive mark. As for the date itself, opting for a casual activity that provides fun and entertainment is usually best. This way, you can still have a good time, even if the romantic chemistry is missing.
If you know of a shared interest or passion, this naturally serves as a great source of connection. If you’ve been set up by a mutual friend, a little conversation with them can go a long way to putting you on the right cause. Either way, a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere is always advised.
What Can Be Done To Remove The Pressure?
Dating is a pressurized environment, especially when getting back on the proverbial horse. The more you think about the need for things to work, the less likely this is to happen. As such, finding a formula that helps you grow as a person is vital. If love or sex develops, that’s great. If not, beating the fear is a major achievement in itself.
Keeping the dates fun and causal gives you an opportunity to get excited about the day rather than date. Meanwhile, you should take time to appreciate that it’s really not a scary situation. If things don’t work out, so what? It’s an experience and also allows you to brush up on communication skills with people you lack chemistry with. This could be transferred to your career and other life goals.
Dating is supposed to be enjoyable rather than terrifying. In the very worst situation, you can always get up and leave. It might make you a terrible person, but screw it. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How Quickly Should You Move Things Forward?
Finding someone that you genuinely like and want to spend time with is very special, not least after losing a relationship. However, the thought of taking things to another level can be quite scary. On the one hand, you don’t want to rush things so that it becomes uncomfortable. On the other hand, it can be equally dangerous to fall into the trap of staying still.
The physical side of things is probably your greatest concern. Forget the three dates rule. You’re fully grown adults and can tell when it feels ready to get physical. For the sake of your sexual health, though, it’s important to stay protected. Besides, you don’t want to end up having a baby with someone before you truly know whether the relationship is built to last.
It’s not all about sex, though. As you get closer together, there will be many milestones. From taking the first vacation to living together or getting engaged, there’s no set time frame. Still, you should be sure that this is what you both want. Moving too fast could derail everything.
