Confident Over Cocky

Most experts agree that for a man to be successful with women he must invoke intrigue.  This is pretty basic stuff right?  The best way to do so is to be genuinely confident in yourself while walking the tight rope of cockiness.  If executed effectively any woman is yours for the taking.  The question is how do you ensure being viewed as confident and not cocky?

Real or Created?

Confidence is genuine.  Cockiness is contrived.  Confidence is an invitation in to explore.  Cockiness is a shield to refuse women access.  Confidence comes from inside and conveys knowledge of one’s self.  Cockiness is a false front on the outside and projects low self esteem.  Confidence creates an air of distinction and an aura that draws women to you.   Cockiness is an odor that pushes women away from you and reeks of desperation.

So, where do we start with confidence?  Before you even begin to conceive of approaching a woman, start with feeling good about yourself.  Whatever it is that you are talented at or you’re proud of about yourself, remind yourself of that often.  Really own it and allow yourself a little self love.  Get yourself to that place where you genuinely feel good about who you are and that you are an awesome catch.

A Shift in Your Mindset

Instead of searching for the right thing to say to get the woman you want or taking her to the right place for your date, remind yourself that she needs to impress you too!  Dating is not a one way street and you had better make sure this woman is going to satisfy you sexually, emotionally and intellectually if you’re going to invest any time in her.  Don’t ever forget this.  The notion of a man solely as a suitor is antiquated and it’s important to establish that you need to be impressed as well.

I approach a date and/or an attractive woman the same way I did when I used to go on job interviews.  I always arrived at a job interview with the feeling that I was the one doing the interviewing.  Without being pretentious or assuming I was in, I would grill my interviewer as much as I could to find what my work environment would be like, what I could expect from the company and where they were headed.  I wanted to know if this was going to be a good place to be should this process continue on.  It’s really the same thing when you approach a woman.  You are evaluating her ability to meet your needs.

Watch As She Adjust To Being The Pursuer

This will blow most women away because you are turning the entire process they’ve come to rely on around on them.  All of a sudden, you are not begging them to go out with you or praying that they call you back.  You are taking ownership of the process (very manly) and letting her know you hope she’s good enough for you.  She’s not guaranteed a call or an invitation for a date.  She’s going to have to work to impress you.  This will be so unexpected and foreign to an attractive woman who has been pursued her whole life that you will immediately stand out.

The key to this approach is that you have to believe you are valuable and valued.  You have to believe in yourself and faking it will make you appear cocky, not confident.

Humor As The Gateway To Success

This best way to assert your confidence and be assured you are not perceived as cocky is to use humor.  Have fun with your elevated sense of yourself and express it with a smile.  Suggest to her that “You should be proud that you’ve made it to a second date.  Most women don’t have enough substance to make it this far” followed by a confident smile.  These kinds of statements set the tone you desire of being the interviewer instead of the interviewee while subtly acknowledging that you recognize that she is unique and special.  Confidence and a sense of humor is the one-two punch that wins over women of all backgrounds.

Women are not interested in a man they can manipulate or is going to be had too easily.  While you negotiate this new terrain of confidence over cockiness and perhaps stumble as you learn, take solace in the fact that it is better to be misperceived as cocky by some than to be perceived as spineless or desperate by any.




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I work as a full time hair stylist but love writing about life. I hope to become a full time writer one day and spend all my time sharing my experience with you!

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