Facebook is one of those things that I use intermittently; I’m a staunch believer that you get out what you put in, and that you should be keeping a sharp eye on just where you’re putting your sensitive bits. It can be good for sharing photos. It can be good for inviting lazy ass friends who never answer their phones to drink with you. And if you manage to get them out of the house, Budweiser has decided to help Facebook keep tabs on all of you even more closely with their invention of the buddy cup. The gist of it is a plastic cup with a chip in the base that connects to your Facebook account. While you’re out getting smashed, every cup that you bang yours against immediately adds the owner to your friends list, and brags about it on your wall. Because that’s not weird and creepy.
Budweiser Buddy Cup: Beers, Cheers and Big Brother Fears
Now, before people come after me for misrepresentation, this is one of Budweiser’s crazy ideas, not High Lord Zuckerberg’s- however, if you don’t think that Facebook would be absolutely stoked for this, you’re as nuts as whoever invented the damn thing. If we’re to believe this promo video, the best way in the world to make friends (and really the only way in the world that people make friends) is to drink to excess and cheers every breathing human within your current arm span. As I am a person who very much enjoys their alcohol, I’m fairly certain that if I gained a Facebook friend every time I clinked my glass with a random in a bar, I’d spend more time the next morning shame-removing people than I would being hungover. Worst ever. I guess the bonus is if you’re too shy to ask a girl for her number, you can hover around hoping to accidentally set your buddy cup down next to hers at the bar- game, set and match.
So what does the Budweiser Buddy Cup say about who we are socially and culturally? It seems to me to hint at the fact that we’ve finally reached the point where every accessory in our lives must contribute to our sense of self worth by artificially providing the comfort that a true friend brings. I’m sure Budweiser will love that positively depressing sentiment, but seriously- did no one in the marketing department stop and think, “You know, I only make good choices when I drink. I definitely want all my coworkers to know I’ve been knocking…glasses… with this sassy under-aged thing with a butterfly ass tattoo”?! (As an aside, why the hell do you have coworkers on Facebook? Or family? Or acquaintances who you don’t get to talk to much but would like a low key way to stay in touch with? Facebook is the newest uncool thing and you should probably just burn your computer and everyone else you know who uses it with extreme prejudice.)
If you drink a whole bunch of fairly average rice beer and need to make new friends stat, the Budweiser buddy cup is for you! Unfortunately, ‘for you’ in this case means only for people at Budweiser promotional parties in Brazil. While I don’t recommend the buddy cup to any self respecting man (you can only cheers if you’re using a real glass and it breaks in your giant manly hands and then you both laugh in a thoroughly masculine way while grinding shards into each others palms), I highly encourage going to Brazil and drinking, so there’s always that.
What do you think of the buddy cup? What should we implement this technology in next? My money’s riding on embedding the chips in our palms so that every time we get too drunk and grope someone we’ll regret later, Budweiser can text alert us to the horrible mistake we’re about to make. Now that’s drinking responsibly.