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90s Cartoon Characters as Drug Addicts

The 90s were a magical time for me. Though I was born in the mid 1980s, I would be lying if I said I really remembered anything from that time; I was too young.

No, the 90s were when I transformed into an actual person of some kind, and really started remembering things, things like Doug and his alter-ego Quail Man… and The Magic School Bus, and so many other cartoons that I would rush home to watch after school.

Even Cartoon Characters Grow Up

But eventually I grew older, and instead of rushing home to watch cartoons, I would rush home to furiously watch… videos on the internet. A fair exchange if you ask me.

Others didn’t fair as well, and got into drugs. Doug, Football Head… all of them. Cartoons characters grown up, burnt out, their backs against a wall. Nothing to look forward to save for their next big fix. Sucking dick behind the Arby’s dumpster…

Dexter, no long able to support his lab, turns to peddling drugs. Unfortunately it seems he got a taste for the junk he was pushing.

Oh Arnold, you were always teased so badly by the other kids. If only you had talked to someone, gotten help! It all turned out so wrong.

Bravo, Johny… Bravo. You’ve done well for yourself, snorting lines till your eyes bleed. At least you’ve still got your killer hair-style.

I also knew there was something else to their Powerpuff abilities. It certainly wasn’t sugar that was powering them all those episodes.

You know, Paul Ribera really didn’t have to do a whole lot for this one. The Rugrats already looked pretty drugged out. I can remember having concern of their wacked out faces even as a young boy. I guess this was just how their parents tried to keep them under control.

Originally published on May 8, 2016 in Art & Photography
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Chad

I'm a co-founder and writer here at Unfinished Man. I write, manage the look and feel of the website, and make sure that nothing breaks. I also reply to the vast majority of our emails, so if you're sending one through, I suggest you be nice. Everyone says I'm the least offensive of our writers, so they gave the email jockey task to me. When I'm not improving the site, I write about fashion, video games, politics, and anything related to science and technology.

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