The Unbreakable Umbrella – A “Self-Defense” Umbrella?

Chad Standing On The Unbreakable Umbrella

An umbrella makes me think of a great many things. It makes me thing of the endless rain that falls from the Vancouver sky. It makes me think of singing in the rain, and that scene from The Matrix where Neo has the little probe pulled out of his belly button while sheets of rain hit the windshield. Umbrellas make me think of all these things, but never had I imagined using an umbrella as a weapon – at least not a particularly useful one. That’s where I’m pleased to say I was wrong; boy was I ever wrong.

Unbreakable Umbrella Smashing The Last Unicorn

Is this what happened to the last unicorn?

I first discovered the Unbreakable Walking-Stick Umbrella a few months ago when Mike made a brief post about it here on Unfinished Man. He had seen it while crawling the internet for interesting gadgets to write about, and it certainly fit the bill. It wasn’t until months later that I decided to contact Real Self-Defense and ask them for a sample to review. They generously agreed, and a few days later it arrived at my door. Upon inspection, I found the umbrella to be sturdy looking, but hardly remarkable. It just looked like a plain old umbrella. But looks can be deceiving, and a quick test that involved me bridging the umbrella between two chairs and standing on it made me realize just how awesome this thing is. I’ve had a few weeks to play with it now, and here’s what I like about it.

Unbreakable Umbrella Standing On A Stump

What I Like About The Unbreakable Walking-Stick Umbrella

  • The umbrella is incredibly strong and perfect for smashing things. I stood on the umbrella, hung from a tree with it, smashed things with it, and yet I was unable to do more than cursory damage to it. Aside from a few scratches, the umbrella held up incredibly well. The composite material is obviously damn strong.
  • The umbrella is stylish looking, especially for something that can be used as a weapon. The umbrella comes with either a hooked handle or wooden knob end, and both look great. I opted for the ball handle for its extra smashing ability.
  • All the components feel sturdy and well made. You can hit lots of stuff with it and not having to worry about it falling apart. The Polish did a good job constructing these.
  • The fabric itself is extremely water-resistant. Gina was able to stand under an artificial waterfall and keep perfectly dry, minus her feet… from walking barefoot.
  • It’s an umbrella, used for fighting. How cool is that?

This is generally where I would point out a few designs flaws, or qualities that annoy me, but other than the slightly higher than normal weight (which is understandable) I’m exceptionally pleased with the Unbreakable Umbrella. It’s good-looking, functional as both an umbrella and fighting weapon, and brought me hours upon hours of absolute child-like joy as I trekked around the forest smashing rotten logs and other things.

Chad Hanging From A Tree Using The Unbreakable UmbrellaThe Unbreakable Umbrella is strong enough to easily support my 150lbs of solid corded muscle hanging from this tree, 300 ft up, while a hurricane is bombarding me. You can’t see it in the photo, but it’s happening.

Unbreakable Umbrella In The WoodsYou’ll notice a few slight blemishes on the wooden knob handle. These are the only marks visible, even after using the umbrella to beat up a unicorn. Pretty impressive, no?
The Unbreakable Umbrella Getting Soaked Under A Water FallGina Holding The Unbreakable Umbrella Under A Water Fall

If you decide to use the umbrella as, you know… an umbrella, the Unbreakable Walking-Stick Umbrella has got you covered. As you can see, the fabric is extremely water-resistant.

And now for our feature presentation…

Smashing A Swan With The Unbreakable Umbrella

No real Swans were harmed in the making of this video.

A Purple Glass Vase Being Smashed By An Umbrella

This vase has seen better days.

Hitting A Sheet Of Plexiglass With The Unbreakable Umbrella

I could have broken this if I wanted.

I really can’t express the full extent of my satisfaction with this umbrella. Yes, you could say that it’s somewhat of a gimmick, but if you’re already in the market for a high-end umbrella, why not splerge a bit and get one that’s strong enough to take hundreds of pounds worth of weight, and that can be used to beat an attacker senseless? I think it’s worth every penny.

You can find the Unbreakable Umbrella on the Real Self-Defense website. It retails for $198 USD.

Comments

  1. Thomas Kurz says

    I never liked unicorns, but you really dislike them. What have they done to you, may I ask?

    When I designed the Unbreakable Umbrella I didn’t plan for it to be a unicorn killer. And now unicorns are extinct….

  2. species 8472 says

    Just bought one of these
    Interestingly I have a unicorn tattoo on either arm but together they make a bicycorn.sorry about the parents but I’m sure Tim and Geoffrey (the names of my unicorns) didn’t do it.

    • Chad says

      Have you had a chance to try it yet, or are you still waiting for it to arrive in the mail? It’s a really awesome umbrella.

  3. says

    I’m from the Uk London, got mugged of a new phone i had just then got on contract by a group of muggers. I consider myself quite rational minded and kept as calm as i could i was even threatened with physical violence and i ain’t a big guy and was faced with very uneven numbers, several of them to me, only just stumbled upon this umbrella. have ordered one, cos would feel alot safer with one when some of these assholes are still out there and its a rainy country here anyway I’d rather atleast be able to protect myself! or anyone i care about, Long live umbrellas. i will be testing mine out when i get it against some tree trunks and hoping its unbreakable like it says it is oh! and seeing so many water melons getting smashed on yourtube by one I definitely want to be smashing a few too. lol. have never paid this much for an umbrella so i hope it lasts a lifetime lol.

    • Faisal says

      Chad gave me this umbrella and I use it quite often, it feels really nice and it would definitely come in handy if you’re about to get mugged. The umbrella works just fine after all the abuse Chad put it through, there are a few scratches on the bottom wooden handle part but other than that, it works like a champ. Thankfully I haven’t had to use it on people (yet).

  4. cojo says

    As I am a city dweller, a device such as this would come in very handy.
    But being that city dweller I unfortunately have a dearth of dead trees and tree stumps upon which to test it.
    At this time I have resolved to grow my own trees, kill them when they have reached a satisfactory maturity and then perform the proper testing.
    Not knowing the rate of tree growth, I cannot at this moment relate to you the results of my tests, but I promise I will post as soon as the results are in.
    Condolences to the survivor of the unicorn attack.
    No doubt rabid.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment Rules: Keep it civil, and please do not use your site URL in either your name or the comment text. Please instead use your own name, initials, or handle, as the the former comes off as spam. Thanks for adding to the conversation!