So I suppose I’m not the first to ask, but why is it we give flowers as a gift? They serve no purpose, don’t smell half as sweet as chocolates, and wilt and wither after a week. Oh of course I’m sure you’ll want to remind me of the “Language of Flowers” and how it’s some old tradition by which we speak. Listen ladies: We don’t speak that language. We know to give Roses on Valentines Day and whatever looks pretty on your birthday. Preferably a flower you’ve already mentioned as being “lovely” or “beautiful”.
What’s considered a romantic gift?
So why flowers? Certainly Chocolate Strawberries from Berries.com would be a better gift? A sweet, rich concoction delivered to use from the Dutch, Chocolate can be consumed at least. What’s better, it can be a bit of an aphrodisiac. Add some scented candles and Barry White, and I dare you to tell me I’m not romantic. How about the health benefits? According to some studies chocolate can lower your blood pressure, has some nice antioxidants, and can even reduce your chance of stroke. See, I just want you to live longer…. With me… cuz I’m romantic as fuck.
Oh, how about some jewelry? Perhaps you’d get a nice new bracelet or maybe a necklace for your special lady? Now while I know that on the surface it appears to be as useless as flowers, I actually saw an episode of MacGyver once where he picked some handcuffs. Also it’s a sizable purchase, so you know we really wanted you to have it. We wanted you to have it more than we wanted that money in our wallets.
So now it’s time for me to come clean guys. I DO know why women want flowers. I also know why all those things I wrote up there are dumb. You see ladies don’t want to be plied with some cheap candies. Nor do they want to be “bought” with a bit of jewelry (Unless you fuck up by forgetting her birthday or something.)
You see, ladies like flowers because it means you thought about them. It means that while you were going through your day playing video games and watching TV, you took a few seconds to think about them and pick out a nice bouquet. She just wants to know that you’re on her mind, and that she’s important to you.
Told you I was romantic as fuck and the ladies attracted to me, like bees to honey
[Photo by JD Hancock]