In the Doghouse? How to Get Yourself Out

Ever since that one thing happened, your significant other has been ignoring your attempts to reconcile, giving you less praise than usual, and so on. We call this the doghouse. If this is your first time in the doghouse, never fear, for there are numerous ways out. They might not be immediately obvious (or immediately accessible) but they exist and can be applied to any relationship — marital, casual, or otherwise.

Spoil Your Significant Other

Ask yourself: what would my significant other appreciate on a regular basis? What could I do to make their life better?

Perhaps you refuse to partake in certain activities, or perhaps you make no effort to complete your share of the household chores. Pick something you wouldn’t normally do — something your partner would appreciate. It could be as simple as taking out the trash, or as uncomfortable as attending karaoke with your wife and her girlfriends. Once you’ve found that something, offer to do it as soon as possible and continue to perform similar kindnesses until you are out of the doghouse.

breakfast in bed
Photo by Flona Henderson

And after that? Continue with these kindnesses without being asked, because you probably should have been doing them anyway. The idea is to spoil, to be generous and sympathetic to his or her needs and wants. As a symbol of your efforts, throw in a gift basket of wine and chocolates, or whatever is fitting. If you are having trouble deciding on a gift basket, The Basket Factory Australia is a website provides its customers with gift categories suited to the particular relationship or occasion.

Create a Dialogue

If you have ever been on the booting end of a relationship quarrel, you probably know by now that the silent treatment doesn’t resolve anything. At one point you may have wondered why. “We’ve had enough time apart, why doesn’t the situation feel any less hostile?”

Photo by Nathan Colquhoun
Photo by Nathan Colquhoun

It’s really quite simple: a relationship without any form of dialogue is kind of like trying to ride a bike with no wheels. Communication is one of the best ways to move forward, and to avoid another dreaded night in the stark cold of the backyard, so to speak. Rather than being harsh and critical about one’s flaws – as one tends to be in the heat of the moment – make sure you are constructive so that your partner might feel more willing to improve, and less likely to leave you due to a feeling of utter discouragement.

Have Some Humility

No one likes to admit when they’re wrong (or whatever word you want to use), but it could be exactly what your partner is looking for: a straight up apology in which you, the victim of the doghouse, recognize your mistake and take responsibility for the resulting backlash. It’s a difficult thing to admit, particularly when you’ve just endured however many days of your love’s cold-shoulder, but sometimes in order to make peace. You need a bit of humility. Unless the whole cat and mouse routine is the only thing keeping the relationship afloat, in which case it’s rather surprising that you have made it this far in the article.

Ideally, you’ll want the relationship to feel as balanced as possible upon your return from the doghouse. If you can maintain a sense of affection, communication and humility, you will find yourself one step closer to a world free of second-rate housing that tends to accommodate animals of a purebred nature.

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Rasha

Rasha writes about family, parenting, and home décor for Unfinished Man. Drawing from her experiences raising her own kids, she provides tips on creating warm, welcoming spaces. Rasha also shares home staging expertise to help transform houses into magazine-worthy dream homes.

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