You know those nights where you’re under a bridge, stealthily trying to spray paint your Mona Lisa of the graffiti world, and you think to yourself, “boy would it be great if I could spray paint my food?” Yeah, me neither, but apparently the German company The Deli Garage thought differently.
If you’re looking to spray paint your trout chrome, or gold-plate your asparagus tips, then ESSLACK is for you. Not to be mistaken with Ex-Lax – as the consequences could be devastating – this edible spray paint comes in four different, practical, food spray painting colours so that you too can create real food that looks fake. If you’re trying to make your fruit look like something you would see sitting in a bowl on a table at Ikea, then ESSLACK can help you achieve that dream.
I find something uniquely disgusting about this particular product, but I admit that I feel this way towards most dyed food. Dyed food makes me wonder what the cook is trying to hide, and beyond that, it’s just disgusting to get dye all over one’s face and lips – yuck. Really, who would want to eat a gold apple? What is this, fucking Hercules?
You can buy ESSLACK on The Deli Garage for a € 24.80.
Queue pictures of disgusting food painted with ESSLACK
Mmm, deliciously metallic looking cookies. Please sir, can I have another?
Christmas ornaments, or the focal piece on a table at Ikea? You decide.
Delicious, a hunk of mud that’s been spray painted. I think I’ll order a few dozen of these immediately. These would go well with the mud pies that I made in the backyard.
If only all turkeys were painted gold, the world would be a better (and more shiny) place. This is the luckiest turkey in the world too. Not every turkey is good enough to be dipped in gold.
