Cops and Nobbers – Batons are so Passé

This might just be the shortest, most juvenile post I’ve ever written for Unfinished Man. Maybe.

Yes, this is exactly what you think it is… a collection of police whose batons have been replaced with giant, rubber dildos. I mean, I’m assuming they’re rubber. I know they come in a wide range of materials these days, but Pyrex wouldn’t work very well as a baton, and metal would be a bit too lethal if you ask me. No, the rubber material is probably ideal… just enough to let someone know you aren’t fucking around, but not hard enough to kill them.

Big… Thick… Batons

I’ll admit it, I’m a bit jealous… jealous that someone else came up with this idea first. It only really for police outside of North America, since here we just use guns… but you know.

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I think this police officer has the right idea. If you’re going to hold up a giant pink dong, you need a certain intensity to pull it off. As far as I’m concerned, she has it nailed.

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Viva La… Dong? That things a real beast. When you think about it, it’s kind of amazing that anyone could *ahem* handle something that big. It almost puts a horse to shame, and the color is bang on too.

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The shield is for all the splash-back after you smack someone with this. Every stroke of the baton releases a white, calming gel to help subdue criminals and rioters.

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You know, this one is just unfair. They’re really ganging up on this fellow, and all he has is an actual baton to help defend himself.

I know… I know

If you just read through this whole thing, then I’m so… so sorry. I’ve got nothing to offer you but even more photos from the collection, which you can find on the official uh… Cops and Nobbers Tumblr page. I’m guessing they’re not too concerned about the title, but yeah, there you go. Enjoy?

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Chad

Chad is the co-founder of Unfinished Man, a leading men's lifestyle site. He provides straightforward advice on fashion, tech, and relationships based on his own experiences and product tests. Chad's relaxed flair makes him the site's accessible expert for savvy young professionals seeking trustworthy recommendations on living well.

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