The holiday season is here, and do you know what means?
Lots and lots of prese… INTERCOURSE!
Yes, it’s a fine time of year to show a special someone your package, but before you start waving your candy cane around all willy nilly, there’s something I want you to remember: if you don’t wear a condom, your penis may catch on fire.
Ever seen those mystery shows about people spontaneously combusting? Yeah, it will be just like that, except slow and painful and super embarrassing for you. If you suddenly burst into flames, people will think you were a wizard experimenting with the dark arts. But if you catch a nasty STI? Believe me, there will be no high-fives for that one.
To illustrate this point, I’ve got a handy infographic…
In the heat of the moment, there’s no way you’re going to stop, get dressed, and head to the local pharmacy to pick up condoms. That’s why it’s so important that you make absolutely certain to carry a few with you at all times. Don’t forget to change them out periodically as well, especially if you’re keeping them in your wallet.
Condoms wear out and expire, and that’s not the kind of wrapping paper you want to adorn your stocking stuffer this year. So carry condoms at all times, make sure they’re not worn out or expired, and most importantly, don’t forget to put one on when things start to get hot and heavy!
STIs are never fun, and babies are even less fun. Have you ever heard one cry? There’s nothing more horrific than the sound of a child crying. Not because the child is sad, but because they’re really damn annoying.
